If I was told "Here's all of Mom's stuff that's left over, do what you want with it," and I find something that can go on eBay--some old cameras--am I justified in keeping any money from the sale for myself (and Hubby)?

I've never been privy to a household being divvied up, so I can't imagine what it would be like. When it comes to stuff of my parents--well, I also can't imagine what would be left of one parent's after the other one has outlived them for a while.

I also can't imagine keeping much of, say, my dad's, even if it's willed explicitly to me unless my mother insisted I did. And then I might try and get it left in their house anyway.

Well, except cufflinks. I do need some cufflinks. And any knives, and that drinking horn that matches one I have.

Other than that, I'm good. And I want that shit even if he doesn't leave it to me. Not like ma or sis would.

My mom is still trying to get me to take home one of grandma's silver tea set things. The thing is, I don't really have any use for one, no place to put one, and it really has no sentimental value. It's weird.

My grandfather had done some trust thing that was supposed to avoid estate taxes or something, but the wording had failed to take into account the possibility that my uncle (who was 15 when Grandpa died) might have kids while Grandma was still alive and controlling the trust. So Grandma left her personal estate to that grandson, which made sorting through her stuff both easier - anything of value belonged to Jon - and harder because she had a lot of stuff that wasn't really valuable but all kinds of sentimental and we had to figure that all out more or less on the fly and quickly because the house had to be sold. I think we did pretty well, there were no hurt feelings that I know of, except the inevitable suspicions that Grandma was mad at the rest of us and cut us out of her will though I am fairly sure that that was not the case - as my mom pointed out, if she had wanted to make a statement she would have left any offending parties $1 and mentioned them by name.

The other side of the family was a whole different kind of mess since Babushka was in the process of leaving her abusive second husband when she died and most of the problems centered on where she would be buried. Second husband won that battle, alas.

Honestly, the one of the harder parts I imagine, and have seen, is deciding that no one really wants that and yet feeling a bit bad that you don't want this thing that had value to them. Or admitting that while it is comfortingly familiar...it's really kind of hideous/ridiculous/pointless.

If I was told "Here's all of Mom's stuff that's left over, do what you want with it," and I find something that can go on eBay--some old cameras--am I justified in keeping any money from the sale for myself (and Hubby)?

Sure. "Do what you want with it" seems to cover "Sell it on eBay" to me.

What my mother did, out of fear that my sister and I would fight like the gingham dog and the calico cat, was to have us make lists of everything we wanted and give them to her. It turned out we only overlapped on about 10 things, so we fought those out. The list is with her will. Of course, we'll still fight, but maybe it will be about something else.

When my sisters and I were growing up, the will/trust my parents had planned included a clause that the estate wouldn't get cashed out until I was 35. They figured that if they happened to die while I was in high school, then my sisters would have gotten their college educations paid for before everything was divided by three, and I'd end up using my inheritance. Thus the delay mechanism to be sure I had a shot at getting college paid for, too.

Smart parents.

I went looking throug words without borders for the term you're looking for, juliana. Didn't find it, but this did amuse me. From Russian.

razbliuto

The confusing bundle of emotions felt by Russian males for their ex-girlfriends.

I know I'm getting Mom's dining room table, which was originally Great-Grandma's. Grandma remembered getting on her knees to dust the legs as a kid, Mom remembered doing the same, and it was always my task to do that, as well, so Mom told me when I was a teen that the table would be mine. Dad had rescued it from the barn when he first married Mom--one of the leaves had already warped while stored there, but Dad stripped and varnished the table and the other five leaves to make it presentable and usable for us heathen kids. It's not like it was ever going to be a valuable antique, so the refinishing didn't bother any of us, but I love the idea of having it.

My paternal grandmother had crocheted baby afghans for both of my brother's kids who were born before she died, and we found out after her funeral that she had made ones for both my sister's and my first babies as well. Well, neither of us are going to be having kids ever, but I'm keeping mine for the first one of my niece's or nephews' kids to be born.