you gotta have a "porn friend", that person that, in the event of your death, hustles over to your house and cleans out all of your porn/toys/naughty stuff before your relatives come to clean out your place.

Or if one should happen to die of autoerotic asphyxiation, someone to... re-arrange stuff. (Was that in The World According to Garp ?) Or if the deceased is gay and closeted, someone to "straighten up." Or perhaps not.

It's widely agreed in my family that once my parents go, the most argued-over possession will be Maurice, their cat.

I remember my parents showing us their will when they wrote it up. The main thing of impact to us was that they'd named our decidedly bachelorette aunt guardian. We still joke with her about moving in when our parents die.

Jesse, crossword puzzles, mysteries, trivia buff, exploring New York City, cooking

Encryption, yeah . . . and some instructions on where to post the unfinished fics.

Jesse, crossword puzzles, mysteries, trivia buff, exploring New York City, cooking

Aw, those were good! Too bad I already sent that bad boy off with something like "pop culture, food and wine."

A belated, additional recommendation for Legalzoom. Their system was simple, informative and seemingly thorough and the customer service is good too. I did both a will and medical poa with them.

My mother had a will awarding custody of us to her BFF from high school. (My parents were divorced by that time, natch.)

We have a real grown-up lawyered will; if we both die my SIL gets the kids but she and Nutty split control of the cash in trust for them (if any). I think we remembered to tell them both about this... Except the baby isn't in the will. Should fix that.

I bet for 2/3rds of my stuff they'll be going, "Why the fuck did he have this?"

I didn't really think my parents were pack-rats but I couldn't believe some of the stuff my Dad kept--bills and statements going back forever. However, that also meant finding things like the (40-year-old) cancelled check for my mother's engagement ring. Which was pretty cool.

My sibs and I already divided the important stuff. Which came down to a bowl from Louisville and a set of plates from Spain, really. Well, my sister and I did. And we gave absent bro the part he'd really want anyway. That is way fairer than he has any right to expect.

There may be a painting or two still to divide, but that's about it. Fortunately there's three full sets of china (Mom, Nana, Great-Aunt), so only limited bickering potential there.

I mean, not that there's not lots of smaller stuff, but as far as the seriously meaningful. And anyway, we are totally capable of finding umpteen other things to argue about, so I guess it's nice to have this settled.

(Nice is not the word my father used. Go figure. Possibly we should have had this conversation out of his hearing.)