(I mean, obviously even infinite numbers of 6 week olds can't kill you, since they can't locomote.)
An infinite number of 6 week old babies? Er...could they get points for driving you to take your own life? I adore newborns, but I have my limits. Imagine yourself stuck in a house with 6 colicky six week olds, and nobody else is there to help you. ijs.
I believe the collected Buffista wisdom put the age at somewhere between two and three. (I mean, obviously even infinite numbers of 6 week olds can't kill you, since they can't locomote.)
Yeah, 2 and 3 year old children are
the
toddlers. I think I'd expand the definition though, from probably just-walking (I had a niece who walked at 9 months, talk about your terror) through to the child's fourth birthday.
If you want the toddlers to win -- like say you want to knock someone off, without leaving any evidence that can be used in an indictment hearing, I think you'd get the quickest results from choosing from a variety of ages -- probably six months a part (i.e. closer together in age than nature intended).
Imagine a just-walking one year old, an 18 month old, a 2 year old, a two and a half year old, a three year old, a three and a half year old, and a four year old. They could do the job.
and is there coffee??
Right! And/or alcohol or other sedatives? Can you use it on yourself? Can you use it on the toddlers? Do the toddlers have access to caffeine and sugar?
Do the toddlers have access to caffeine and sugar?
BWAH.
and... there is the poop issue. Even if they don't locomote, they can still seriously impair you.
Timelies all!
I've got nothing to add on the killer toddlers thing, though I find this discussion amusing.
I say all you need to defeat the toddlers is a toy they all want, or all think they want. If you give them a stern "everyone share nicely" they'll almost certainly kill each other over it.
Signed,
I don't have kids, I'm just amused.
they'll almost certainly kill each other over it.
But will they kill each other before you end up taking your own life in frustration? Remember, some of them are coming to you for arbitration and/or comfort.
This question is a good repeat one... I mean, it's not silverware or serial comma, but still a good one.
Since I don't have kids, I'm assuming none of them are mine. The only toddler I'm related to is Sox's, and she (eta: the toddler, not Sox) tells me to eat my broccoli more often than I tell her to do so, so my second assumption is that Iris is doing my job for me.
or something like that.
I'm assuming none of them are mine.
Unless you're shorter than them, some of them will come to you for assistance.
I don't know if not being related to them makes it easier to bear or not. I've found the right kid can make blood ties irrelevant (or unbearable).
Unless you're shorter than them
Well, since I'm under 5', some of them will assume I'm another kid.
I'm guessing that Darwin logic would kick in and I'd want to save the kid that might share some genes with me.
Last weekend the Toddler Cabal seemed to be working on their world domination plan - everywhere I went there seemed to be toddlers testing their power over their minions (aka parents or attendant adults).
