Is there a time limit for the killer toddlers or is this a gladiator style contest?

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aurelia asks what I was thinking. Also -- what's our definition of toddler; and how *alone* with and responsible for them would one be, and for how long? Where are we? Do any of them have a stomach virus? Do I have access to tools such as cribs, play yards, high chairs, videos? Is it sunny? Is there a fenced in area outside, in which they can play? Is there a limit to how much junk I can pour down their gullets? Do I have to keep them?

My guess on the killer toddlers is 5-7. But I'm wimpy and can barely handle two at a time.

You're hardly wimpy. Olivia's been an apprentice in the let's-see-how-close-I-can-come to killing-myself stage for a few months now, and Owen's got his License for Destruction of Self and Parents.

Mom's taking care of my cousin's cats and was attacked the other day by the non-fraidy one. Multiple bites that broke the skin, and with Mom's tendency to bruise it looks like she has defense wounds from a knife attack on her arm.

Oh my word, did she go see a doctor, Matt? I bet you can get Sophia to nag at her, if need be. I hope she's okay.

I hope you and all the Atlanta F2Fers have a fantastic F2F. I'm now officially entering sour grapes mode.

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The killer toddlers came from a question asked at our library, which was (roughly) "You are on a limitless plain being attacked by an infinite number of children who are trying to kill you. At what age will they succeed?" Unfortunately there was no information about weapons.

I believe the collected Buffista wisdom put the age at somewhere between two and three. (I mean, obviously even infinite numbers of 6 week olds can't kill you, since they can't locomote.)

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Menu foods has yet again expanded their pet food recall:

[link]

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what's our definition of toddler; and how *alone* with and responsible for them would one be, and for how long?

and is there coffee??

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I'm still trying to figure out why Teddy is so calm at taking his fluids at the vet's office but so yowly about it at home. We had to take him in last night for more help.

He was also very attack-oriented as a kitten -- I must have had scratches on my arms for two years solid.

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(I mean, obviously even infinite numbers of 6 week olds can't kill you, since they can't locomote.)

An infinite number of 6 week old babies? Er...could they get points for driving you to take your own life? I adore newborns, but I have my limits. Imagine yourself stuck in a house with 6 colicky six week olds, and nobody else is there to help you. ijs.

I believe the collected Buffista wisdom put the age at somewhere between two and three. (I mean, obviously even infinite numbers of 6 week olds can't kill you, since they can't locomote.)

Yeah, 2 and 3 year old children are the toddlers. I think I'd expand the definition though, from probably just-walking (I had a niece who walked at 9 months, talk about your terror) through to the child's fourth birthday.

If you want the toddlers to win -- like say you want to knock someone off, without leaving any evidence that can be used in an indictment hearing, I think you'd get the quickest results from choosing from a variety of ages -- probably six months a part (i.e. closer together in age than nature intended).

Imagine a just-walking one year old, an 18 month old, a 2 year old, a two and a half year old, a three year old, a three and a half year old, and a four year old. They could do the job.

and is there coffee??

Right! And/or alcohol or other sedatives? Can you use it on yourself? Can you use it on the toddlers? Do the toddlers have access to caffeine and sugar?

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Do the toddlers have access to caffeine and sugar?

BWAH.

and... there is the poop issue. Even if they don't locomote, they can still seriously impair you.

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Timelies all!

I've got nothing to add on the killer toddlers thing, though I find this discussion amusing.

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I say all you need to defeat the toddlers is a toy they all want, or all think they want. If you give them a stern "everyone share nicely" they'll almost certainly kill each other over it.

Signed, I don't have kids, I'm just amused.

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