You get Mel Gibson, I get George Michael.

I think we both need more coffee.

SA, I'm sorry you're going through this. The best way to deal with it is to get her out of your financial life, which you'll be doing as soon as you can. Until then, take it easy.

As an adult child of an alcoholic, I'm not seeing where it's you. It's your mom. It's a control thing, and I don't even mean that in a bad way, like, "SHE'S TRYING TO CONTROL YOU.' What I mean is that you are very far away. That's worrisome for a parent. The only way she can keep you "safe" is by taking care of your money issues, so she is.

t pops in

SA, insent.

t pops out

Damn. Mel Gibson just ran through my brain in a kilt and blue paint, screaming "FREEEEEEEEEEDOM!!!!!!!"

You can take our checkbook, but you can't take our FREEEDOOOOM!!!!

Anyway, the classic divide is between people who see money as security versus people who see money as freedom. Some of that is in play here, but I think it's also getting loaded up with a lot of emotional baggage that your mom is bringing to the discussion.

This. A lot of this. For my mom, she wants the securirty and stability money can bring. Financing a house. Maintaining a house. She has sacrificed a lot in her life for the people she loves, not purchasing things she wanted in order to buy something for my siblings and myself. She equits sacrifice for greater things, the big life things with the right way to use money.

I've never seen it that way. Granted, I think that's due somewhat to my age--stability isn't even on my radar right now, which freaks her and my dad out a lot. It's freedom--freedom to have a cup of coffee at the cafe I like, freedom to book a weekend trip somewhere I've never been, freedom to, er, buy a hamster. (Which I did this weekend. Pictures forthcoming.) I risk future stability for present freedom/pleasure, and I know that, and I know that it's a risk. But it's a risk I'm willing to take right now. I'm kind of lousy with future, so I figure it's worth it, and I also figure it's temporary in a very real way. If I'm still overdrafting in ten years, then it's a problem. Right now it's an inconvenience.

As an adult child of an alcoholic, I'm not seeing where it's you. It's your mom. It's a control thing, and I don't even mean that in a bad way, like, "SHE'S TRYING TO CONTROL YOU.' What I mean is that you are very far away. That's worrisome for a parent. The only way she can keep you "safe" is by taking care of your money issues, so she is.

That is very reassuring, Cindy. Thanks. And it's true. She can't let go of the mother thing, and it doesn't help that I'm her first kid, I don't think. She has a lot of trouble letting go of me, which is ironic, since I continually go so far away.

smonster, I got your email. Responding once dinner is done fixin'.

Also, I didn't mean to disparage Al-Anon, if I did upthread. I respect the stability and help that it gave my mom. But equating her life with mine sets me off, a lot, and equating my life choices with John's is something of a hot button. A mostly dormant hot button. I was frustrated, and that came out poorly. But jesus, I already spent three years in therapy. And I have the buffistas. Her need for Al-Anon doesn't translate to my need for Al-Anon, and I don't think she gets that.

They are talking about The Secret thing in Natter and maybe there's something to it because the guy came back through!

We chatted! I wasn't able to give him my cell but I made sure that he had my office phone. I just realized that he said he gets off at 6, I should have suggested getting together for drinks.

Oh well, he said he'd come back through here more often.

I know I'm all this guy loves carrots and I will shut up after this.

No - askye - no shutting up. You have to post mushy carrot stuff to counter balance my constant fussing. Seriously.

Dude, askye, it's no Secret that you KICK ASS and that a nice guy would want to hang out with you!

Bah on The Secret! It's just good old fashioned sexaaay!

I know I'm all this guy loves carrots and I will shut up after this.

no need to shut up at all. We love the squee. I must have someone to live vicariously through!

no need to shut up at all. We love the squee. I must have someone to live vicariously through!

So very much this!! Squee is good.

I had another interview this morning for a job that I really want. Good school. Teaching speech and theatre. And, the guy I interviewed with with nice and funny and HOTT. And gay, so I sat there thinking of my friends that he needs to meet and go out with.

Even so, I think it went well. I hope it did. He said second interviews will be later this week with hopefully a decision made next week. I really want him to call me.