Because really, after awhile you just meander about, saying, "Yeah, I got this one off a drunk Lithuanian who swore it only took one episode, just *one episode,* and I'd never think about it again. Next thing I know there's four seasons of Black Adder in my Netflix queue and I'm running around demanding different news."

the Bruce/Dick in the middle

She's good!

She's good!

Yeah, I know. This is the second or third time I've read it, and I still feel the need for a cold shower.

This interview with Devin Grayson is worth reading just for the Bruce/Dick in the middle.

Wow.

I loved this quote, just before the section in question.

I have no doubt that while growing up Dick Grayson knew that cowl as the face of God.

Also wowed by Devin's spicy brains. Her character analysis is Ple-like. Must share large chunks with the class:

Dick - a naturally effusive and exultant soul - is taken in, at the worst moment in his young life, by a man who is focused, driven, and principled beyond anyone's expectations of such qualities in a human. Bruce, in those early years, is Dick's rock. He figuratively saves his life, and literally changes the course of it. He's not afraid of Dick's natural intelligence or energy, focusing and refining it, and letting this child in on the biggest secret of his holy-mission-driven life. Bruce makes Dick one of his only true friends in the world; his partner, his sidekick, his confidante, his ally, and, though he never quite says as much, his son. Did I say Bruce? No, that's not quite right - this is actually Batman, and I have no doubt that while growing up Dick Grayson knew that cowl as the face of God. This man was his life. He owed him everything. And he was happy.

And therein lies the rub.

By the time Dick hits his teens, there are three big problems: a secret he's carrying, a hope he's glued to, and a doubt he harbors. The secret is this: despite knowing that Bruce would reverse everything that has transpired in a heartbeat to have his parents back with him, Dick no longer feels the same way. Dick loves his life. He wouldn't trade it for anything - not even another hug from his own mother - and this causes him shame. He's sure that if Bruce knew this about him, he'd feel he'd failed to teach him anything. He's sure that if Bruce knew this about him he'd be disappointed. So he buries this secret - his gratitude and excitement about his own life - as deeply as he can in his heart, where of course it begins to suffocate and leak out in a new form… anger. But better to be angry with Batman than to disappoint him.

The hope he's glued to is equally destructive for its futility. Despite having buried as much of his contentment as possible, Dick still feels tremendous loyalty and devotion towards Batman. This man took his life as it was falling apart around him and reshaped it into something electric and rare. He owes him. And like almost all people who love someone, he wants Bruce to experience this excitement and contentment, too. He wants to make Batman happy. I think you can see the problem there.

The tragedy here is that of course he does. Dick has no idea how deeply he's effected Bruce's life. There's no doubt in any of our minds that Bruce loves him rather madly. Not romantically, but my god - he's so proud of that kid, and so delighted by his resilience and spirit. Dick has done as much as anyone can do to make Bruce happy. Bruce is tied to tragedy - his whole life has been created and dominated by it - and you're never going to see the kinds of grins on his face that you frequently see on Dick's. Whereas Dick had him, Bruce had no one. And beyond that, no one can truly ever make anyone else happy. And you're really in for a hell of a time if you set your sights on Batman.

As for the doubt - this is the worst part. Unable to absorb what he considers to be Bruce's fundamental morality (family above all else), and unable to make him happy, Dick is left, in his late teens, without any real idea of what he means to this man. He knows he can't be a sidekick forever. And "ward" - that stops having meaning the minute he turns eighteen. He's not really his son, and he's certainly not a necessary part of the operation… does it all just end? Dick's terrified. He has to figure out what it is that will allow him to be part of Bruce's life forever.

I'm big with the DG love. Now if only I could figure out why her Titans sucked so bad.

More spicy Devin:

Please note how far we've gone without even mentioning sexuality. But now it introduces itself into the equation. While Bruce is content to occasionally lust after Catwoman or Talia, Dick has quite suddenly turned a corner in his life which makes it hard to so much as think through the thick fog of hormones. These are two extremely physical people, and also both extremely attractive, and in his panic about becoming irrelevant, I think Dick Grayson may have tripped over the idea of a romantic relationship. It would allow him to stay in the Manor as a part of Bruce's life indefinitely, it would reassure him as to Bruce's feelings for him, it would allow him some much needed physical release, and it might - it might even help make Batman a happier, more relaxed person. How much does this man really love and trust him? Would this kind of relationship be an option? Being the brave and bold creature that Batman has helped him to become, Dick goes to find out.

I think if it happened at all, the whole thing would have happened in about twenty seconds, and I think that they would both remember that day with a visceral recall that borders on feverish. For Dick, about sixteen or seventeen at the time, it would have started months and months earlier, and going in to it he would already know every tremor, every swallow, every flex of fist and tight-throated, abandoned half-sentence that had both preordained and precluded it. For Bruce, it would have come out of nowhere; a brick wall separating the past from the present, the asphalt below it suddenly permanently littered with small shards and chaff from the crash.

My guess is that is would have started with a question. Dick, in an arbitrary moment in the Batcave, asking something like "what happens to me after I turn eighteen? What happens to us after those… papers… stop meaning anything…?" To which Bruce would respond, as most likely would anyone who had not been obsessing about this particular potential end of the world for months on end, "hm?"

So maybe Dick stops using language. Maybe he moves close to Batman suddenly, grim and determined in an oddly thrilled sort of way, heat radiating off of him in waves as he suddenly presses his lips against Batman's - irresistible force hurtling towards immovable object. And if that happened, then I'm guessing that two things go through Batman's head in that moment, equally terrifying.

First of all, the person in front of him now is NOT a little boy. He has not been seeing him, truly seeing him, for maybe years now. And the thought of the loss of that little boy makes him freeze up with grief. He is so inexcusably, insanely—unsafe, unsafe, unsafe! (love = death)—attached to that little boy, and that little boy isn't there anymore, has somehow slipped away. That little boy that he owns, truly owns - legally, loyally, financially, life-debt, imprinting, creation, encouragement, oath-sworn owns—body and soul.

Which means that the not-little-boy in front of him, he owns this creature, too. This creature that looks different, thinks differently, hell, even smells different - how could he have been paying so little attention?! - he recognizes him absolutely nonetheless. Absolutely. The spirit is unmistakable, and maybe something deep inside of Batman moves to grab it, to hold it close, to use it to blot out the horrible grief of losing his little boy, which doesn't have to be horrible at all, because this creature standing in front of him now, trembling with audacity and passion, staring at him unblinkingly with those breath-takingly familiar blue eyes, he is so frustratingly, obviously the SAME that before he even thinks about it, maybe Batman does reach out to him - not to return the kiss, but to break him apart with his bare hands and release the more recognizable form; his darting ray of sunshine, his wise-cracking little monkey-wrench, his boy.

And then the not-little-boy moves towards the reach of Batman's hands with such an utter lack of fear that Batman himself recoils, stepping quickly back, knowing as he does so that the not-little-boy sees the falter, knowing as he does so that the soul he has breathed beside for over eight years now will be able to imagine no other course than total dedication to pursuit and final victory through abrasion. Because I think that Dick would be right if he later asserted that Bruce himself was partly to blame. Bruce would have stepped back, after all, that's true. And he himself had trained Dick Grayson never to give up on an opponent in retreat.

why her Titans sucked so bad

Which ones did she do?

Devin on the HoYay:

I don't think they're gay (though I would have no problem with it if they were). I don't think they sleep together or hold circle jerks in the Batcave. But I do think that they're in an enormously complicated relationship that often suffers from an overabundance of trepidation hitting up against a deficiency of communication. I think they love each other familially, but that both of them have so little experience with family that they hardly know what that is or means. So now, in addition to all the good things they do for one another - and there are many good, healthy aspects to the relationship - Dick provides Bruce with a constant emotional challenge, always ready to go off - to accuse, to push, to question, to need things from him he's not sure he can give - while Bruce provides Dick with an irresistible, unsolvable mystery: how do you make a difference in the life of a person unwilling to be changed?

And one last comment before I leave this matter: I'm fairly certain that Greg Rucka, Chuck Dixon, and Ed Brubaker all have totally different ideas about this relationship, and I'm fairly certain that whatever they think, they're all correct. I don't hold this theory out as the be-all-end-all psychological evolution of the Wayne/Grayson dichotomy… this is just what's in my head and heart as I write, and I'm sure I would terrify myself if I tracked down the origins of this speculation in my own life. All I know is that it revs my motor, and gives me a lot to play with when I use these characters. This is the answer I got when I asked them about their relationship, and so this is the background material I'm using when I script.

Devin on Ghost Rider!

Stuart Moore, my editor on Ghost Rider, actively discouraged me from reading any old Ghost Rider comics. He wanted a fresh take. And the more my friends told me about the character and his history, the more I saw why. I'm not usually judgmental about these things, but what the fuck WAS all that? The SPIRIT OF VENGEANCE, folks - it's about as pure and naturally outfitted as a concept gets. We all know the spirit of vengeance. We know what it is and how it behaves and that you don't get to ask it any soul-searching questions like "were you once the soul of Noble Kane?" Who cares? It's the spirit of vengeance! As far as I'm concerned, that explains everything right there.

And I'll admit, too, that it was fun to be able to cut loose a little. Ghost Rider never took an oath not to kill. Ghost Rider doesn't suffer from compunction or fits of existential doubt. Ghost Rider isn't surrounded by a bunch of loyal allies fighting for his humanity. Ghost Rider has a bike and a chain and his head is on fire.

Ghost Rider is COOL.

Which ones did she do?

She did the relaunch before this one, which brought back the original Titans. The characters were great, but somehow they started sucking as super heroes. Which was offensive to those of us who were reading it in the Wolfman/Perez days, when it sported the tagline, "They are the best there are."