Come on, people. There's a guy upstairs in my house, using power tools and making a lot of noise. I need to be entertained.

Eddie Griffin crashed a $1.5 million dollar Ferrari yesterday.

Christian leaders on the island of Tobago are afraid to let Elton John perform there, because they think he might turn young people gay.

Have they seen Elton John lately? I don't think many questioning youths are going to find him to be the tipping point for their attraction to men.

Eddie Griffin crashed a $1.5 million dollar Ferrari yesterday.

In a shocking turn of events, no Lost cast members were involved!

I'm just glad Eddie wasn't hurt.

I need to be entertained.

I'd love to post, but IE keeps spazzing out and shutting down on me.

I'd love to post, but IE keeps spazzing out and shutting down on me.

A likely story.

I don't have any work to do, and I don't feel quite comfortable watching my Stargate: Atlantis DVDs with this guy around. It's going to be a long day.

You might have to be a parent to appreciate, but I'll share my entertaining email.

Subject: Why Parents have Gray Hair

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands: Dear Dad, It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

(my son would write something like this)

Christian leaders on the island of Tobago are afraid to let Elton John perform there, because they think he might turn young people gay.

No offense to Elton, but... yeah. I don't know if I'd send him in the first gay wave to convert Tobago's teen and young adult population.

If you were assembling a gay invasion force, who would you pick?

I'm kind of tempted to go for Rufus Wainwright, except I think his voice might alienate as many people as it converted.

Rupert Everett?

Not after the weird-face surgery situation.

PEOPLE! Neil Patrick Harris!!