The other thing I think Joel on Software may have over simplified is the rude waiter/old lady/owner sitch. If the lady has been coming there forever, she may have the waiter/waitress she likes and likes how they handle her. Now other waiter probably has his own way that his regulars like. Now because Mike didn't treat her like Julie always does, Mike was rude.

And I don't think saying, "Huh. We've never had a complaint about him." is out of line. If the guy actually blew up, that's another thing, but let that lady think that the waiter is the one with the problem and you've done no one, except maybe Julie, any favors.

I like to say it with a politely monotone voice and a crazed, murderous glint in my eye

Will practice this tonight in the mirror.

When dealing with things the customer wants but that I cannot provide (such as illegal things or things that are physically impossible) I like to say it once and then respond with silence the rest of the time. Drives them nuts.

"I want you to kill a man and send me his head."

"I can't do that, sir, it's illegal."

"But I want it!"

...

...

...

...

"Hello?"

"Yes, sir, can I help you with anything else?"

I felt so sorry for the fast food guy in Fast Times at Ridgemont High who got fired when the asshole customer complained....

Heh. They just had a story on NPR where they basically said the problem with hybrid cars is that they need more cowbell.

Anna Nicole's body goes to the lawyer, not to her mom. Now bury the poor woman and let's move on.

Heh. They just had a story on NPR where they basically said the problem with hybrid cars is that they need more cowbell.

They have a fever. And the only cure....

But seriously, in a few years you'll be able to buy a hybrid car that you can recharge the battery at home. So if you use it for a short trip or commute, the engine need never start, and your cost of "fuel" per mile would be about 1/4 as much as if you were running on gas.

And get that stupid-ass showboating judge off of my tv news!!

(From a ways back, but I've been swamped at work)

I need some Jilli style advice, I think. I'm going bananas trying to come up with a new look.

Allyson, I just sent you mail at your profile addy.

And yes, I want the steampunk keyboard.

I would just repeat, "I'm sorry Customer, I'm afraid I can't do that."

Ha! That's perfect.

The problem they had was that blind people can't hear them coming like regular cars.

Solution? More cowbell!

(Actually, I think the reporter said the car equivalent of a cowbell)