Someone once told me I am meta-agnostic because I believe it's not possible to know one way or the other whether a higher power exists. When pushed I usually say I'm an atheist.

Plei, you could be a Code Monkey dancer -

ok I gotta go to bed. Too much wine, too much Sperm are from men... followed by Serenity ( which fits with the book) and seeing someone echo how I feel about things. It is rare. and nice.

I believe it's not possible to know one way or the other whether a higher power exists.

I think that's the very definition of agnosticism, isn't it?

Plei, you could be a Code Monkey dancer -

Except I can't dance!

the very definition of agnosticism

The way I understand it. An agnostic says, "I don't know." I say, "no one knows."

Poking head to post the very special Buffista day that today is: according to the Buffista Calendar, it's Beverly's birthday, and Benno's birthday as well! Also, isn't today Kat and lori's anniversary?

Happy day to all! With lots of wishes for a wonderful year, as well.

You know, I'm doing socially responsible, Good For the World things -- Educating the Youth of America and all that -- why must I feel so crappy all the time?

Emily! It's so good to read your font, and at the same time, so difficult to read its content.

Maybe *because* what you're doing is so important and necessary and needed, it's so hard? Because there's not enough of it?

I don't know. I can only repeat what every teacher I know says - that it does indeed gets easier and more fluent with time, that the most difficult part is the first year, and that it's so totally the opposite of what it should be, in theory, based on the amount of time and energy and commitment and effort that goes into teaching.

Oof. I'm sorry I don't have anything to say.

It's okay. Mostly, I'm okay. Just irritated that, because I'm so exhausted all the time, I really don't have a life. Slept all day yesterday, slept then graded today, will be making lesson plans all day tomorrow (thank god for the three-day weekend!). It would be easier to motivate myself to get it done if I noticed it making a difference, but... Meanwhile, because I spend 12 hours a day at school and do work at home, my place is a pigsty, I still haven't done anything about the thousand-dollar bill I don't know if I owe or not, and I've been meaning to order groceries for three weeks now.

However: two of my students got into the local arts high school (one wrote me a thank-you valentine for having corrected her grade -- which I screwed up in the first place)! And many of them are total sweethearts. I just wish they weren't finding math such a chore. And in the same vein, that I could spend more time teaching and less time explaining to the knuckleheads that they've now reached: name on the board and they need to be quiet or get five minutes of detention/ one check and they need to choose whether to keep quiet or get another five minutes of detention/ two checks and they need to choose to be quiet or get a phone call home/ three checks and they need to be quiet or go to the buddy room for a time-out/ four checks they need to leave the room yes really no you can't go to a different teacher's room yes I know you hate the buddy room that's why you're going there you have to the count of five to go and then I'll call security okay so as I was saying the Pythagorean Theorem-- that's the bell.

Oops. Sorry for the whine. Things aren't all bad (just my students' grades!) and my room is starting to look better (although still unhea-- I have to stop inserting parenthetical statements or I'll never stop complaining!). And I have a great new-teacher coach, and the other teachers there are WONDERFUL -- I will really miss them next year.

(And let's be honest -- my place would be a pigsty even if I had all day to lounge around. That's what happens to an Emily without a vwbug around.)

Oh, and, er, hi! It's good to see you too! Maybe it's good I don't have a social life, if I've become this frightfully self-obsessed. What are you up to these days? Still studying traffic and overseeing undergrads?