How to Avoid Paying Taxes on A Million Dollars
1. Get a million dollars.
2. Tell IRS you forgot that not paying taxes is illegal.
Me too, Amyliz. Okay, Hecubus...I get it. It's sad more people know Leary than Hicks. But you know, Elvis underpaid Big Mama Thornton too. and some people think he's God. Go get "Sane Man" cause I know Netflix has it.(all of y'all Bill Hicks newbies)

I wish. I did sing about being obsequious and purple, though.

Heh. Before his white-suit persona, Steve was much more of an Andy Kaufman-type conceptual comedian.

He'd get an entire audience of 2,000 college students at UCLA out into an empty swimming pool, and he'd swim laps over their upraised arms. (This was long before such crowd-surfing antics were common. Back in the early 70s.)

Or he'd lead the entire crowd with him over to McDonald's until the place was packed and say, "Hamburgers for 2,000!" and then look panicked and start patting his pockets.

But you know, Elvis underpaid Big Mama Thornton too. and some people think he's God.

Leiber and Stoller were totally disappointed in Elvis' "Hound Dog" compared to Big Mama's version. And they're right. But...she didn't look half so good in black leather pants.

I suppose not. Score another victory for thrall and leather pants.

The older brother of a friend of mine had Let's Get Small and A Wild and Crazy Guy (on vinyl, of course) and Carol and I used to listen to them over and over. They still crack me up. Oh, and a Woody Allen album -- I think it was just called Standup Comic or something. Great stuff. I'm not widely listened in comedy.

That Woody Allen album has the classic bit "The Moose." So. Funny.

Big Mama Thornton vs. Elvis

OK, so after driving home, I realized I *really* don't want to drive my car right now. I don't know if it's gotten worse, or I've gotten more paranoid. I'm terribly aware of the lack of pick up at higher rpms. So. It's a 3 day weekend, and I doubt the mechanic is open monday (and if he is BONUS.) I have errands that I should run, but technically, I don't think anyone will starve if I don't. I could get away with not driving all weekend, but the prospect is depressing and cabin-fever-inducing.

Would it be terribly ridiculous to rent a car tomorrow, for as long as is needed? Con, of course, is that I'm already resigned to half a grand car repair bill, and this is more money spent and that makes me cry. And figuring out how to get rental back to place after I get my car back cause there is one me and two cars and ahrg. Pro is I stop feeling panicked at driving or not driving, I don't have to figure out how to get to and from work if the repair takes more than a day. I could also just have AAA tow my car in Monday morning, so regardless of whether they are open or not, it's there and no driving.

Hmm. I think I just decided. Can't sleep til noon. Any agency known as being rock bottom? There's at least 3 within a couple miles of me, so I can start there...

I hate this. I hate that *I* did this. It's such a dumbshit thing and I should know better.

I hear that Paris Hilton is having her birthday bash this weekend in Vegas. A friend just asked me if I wanted to go. "I have a seat on the jet, so if..."

Yeah, no. Not even for research purposes would I have pressed to see if he was serious. Not about his seat on the jet--he has that. Just about me going.

I had multiple things to do today. I'm going to count "going to the gym" as my big win, and maybe eat and read, or something.

Enterprise has free pick-up/drop off service, and you can generally get an economy or compact car for less than $40 a day.

Edited to replace the name of the fucktard-filled rental company that's about as trustworthy as their real-killer golf course sleuthing former spokesman with a company that will actually be helpful.

Ouch sara. Psychics, maybe, and people who can read the future are totally on top of car repair stuff. At least, that's what I tell myself. Don't sweat it, though. Some shit is just...well, sometimes you just have to spend the money.