Shut it, Sean.

Here was my Rant in E Minor to the manager's mailing list after they suggested I could've given my input earlier if I'd attended Board Meetings (which I was not invited to. D'oh.)

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I would've been perfectly willing to offer my input on any of these issues if anybody had broached the subject with me.

Note my complete lack of shyness about sharing an opinion.

Here's my input on Mother's Day. We played on Mother's Day last year and it was fine.

If you have a morning game that day, you leave Mom a mimosa on her bedstand and schedule her for a pedicure during the game. If you have an afternoon game, get up and make her waffles and then schedule a pedicure during the game.

I personally would love to have a pedicure, mimosa and waffles on Father's Day. Instead I'll probably be off at a tournament in some gawdawful corner of Contra Costa County, standing in line for a plastic shit-shed behind Lardass the Redneck with his buzzcut, chin-pubes and Raider's Jersey, who's about to unload the four tri-tip sandwiches he's already eaten. Because TRI-TIP SANDWICHES ARE THE ONLY THING YOU'RE EVER ALLOWED TO COOK IN CONTRA COSTA COUNTY.

On Memorial Day weekend, I'll be in Sacramento with much the same agenda except it'll be 103 degrees, the bumper stickers will be more obnoxious and you can't go home.

Same on my birthday (June 28).

In short, Mom can suck it up, drink her mimosa and give me a scheduling break during the week.

My apologies to Steve - my ire is not directed at you.

Here's my opening schedule: We play at 10am on Opening Day. Then we've got 9 days off with no games on the second weekend. Then I've got three games in five days on Tuesday, Thursday and Satuday. Then we've got 14 days off. Then I've got three games in a week: Sunday, Thursday and Saturday. The next week I've got 4 games in 8 days: Mon 23rd, Thurs 26th, Sat 28th and Mon 30th. Then I have no games the weekend of May 5-6.

So if you're keeping score that means I've got one nine game stretch without a game, one 14 day stretch without a game, and then I've got 7 games between the 15th and 30th of April. Seven games in sixteen days. This is supposed to be easier for managing pitch counts? That's going to be a freakin' grind on my kids.

We have no games for two entire weekends in the first six weeks, and then you're taking off Mother's Day?

(Note the timestamp: [5:00am] sick baby, cranky dad)

Hec, that's awesome.

I went and took a nap (which I'm going to regret later, but LOVED in the moment), and in the meantime my apartment fell to 60 degrees! It's COLD in here! I'm totally wearing my warm long coat when I go to therapy!

Dear Kristin,

Word on the street is that you have completed your pile of grading. Apparently, even though you spent the best part of the last week doing nothing but grading, it seems you don't get a big kick out of it, so I guess I'll return this present of eighty bazillion more grady things to do.

The World called; it's looking forward to seeing you again.

ION; Aims - Pbbllt!

surgery/recovery ma~~ Robin

I own no shoes save Croc flip flops that aren't heels. That's gonna cost me, right?

Well, no, because I live in my 3" heel boots, but Hec can do a good impression of a Bataan death march leader when he's being tour guide. But he's a very informative and funny tour guide!

The gauchos, though.... shakes head sadly

Hec, I love the rant.

sj, I hope you find a better place to live easily.

Everyone else, I hug from a distance, because I may or may not be sick. DOn't know. Do know that I have no voice.

Dear Kristin,

Word on the street is that you have completed your pile of grading. Apparently, even though you spent the best part of the last week doing nothing but grading, it seems you don't get a big kick out of it, so I guess I'll return this present of eighty bazillion more grady things to do.

The World called; it's looking forward to seeing you again.

Thanks, hon. I'm so friggin' glad that I'm done, I can't even tell you. As for this "World" you speak of, I'm not entirely sure that it exists. I think it may be a conspiracy of cartographers.

I have to call into a meeting now and I DON'T WANNA!!!!

Your schedule is cracked, Hec.

That said, I always curse the teams when they schedule things on mother's day, and not so much even for myself, but because it screws things up with our Mothers, too. It (and Father's Day) might not matter to some people, but they do matter to a lot of people.

It's gonna be hard for that guy to even walk with a footpedal up his butt, Hec.