Ach, Cindy, I'm sorry. How frustrating that must have been all the way around, the not-what-you-needed support and the active unsupport and your own difficulties. In talking with friends on and offline, I've come to the conclusion that it's almost always fraught, even when it's going well.

I have a several cookbooks from the 40s/50s and there are recipes for "City Chicken" where chunks of meat are cut in different sizes, skewered and rolled in crumbs to look like a chicken leg and then fried.

The mock chicken leg! A staple of grade school cafeterias everywhere.

Oh, what a crappy day.

{{{Steph, JZ, Sean, S, DJ, everybody}}}

Also, Cindy, I love you.

Brendon would still be nursing if I hadn't cut him off. (still pissed about that bad doctor advice) He had no interest in food and didn't have anything other than breast until he was 8 months and took a pizza crust from us to chew on. Bobby wasn't so much a breast baby. He took food earlier and weaned himself.

It rarely goes like we want or anticipate, but healthy happy babies and healthy happy parents result from a lot more factors than how much breast milk is consumed. My mom didn't nurse any of us. Many of my friends didn't nurse for many reasons.

Ok, enough of my nursing rambles. (It was a lovely time in my life all in all)

It is fraught. And I think it's hardest with your first child. Everything is so intense. You're overwhelmed with this love for this person you didn't even know a year ago. Your hormones are still balancing out. Your body is not the same as it was (even if it's good, or better, it's not the same). Your sleep is continually compromised, and even people who capture moths in envelopes and release them outside so as not to harm another creature, have been known to know in a just a moment that they could surely kill a human who harmed this new person.

This is where your husband's Good Enough theory is brilliance, JZ. Pump what you can, and give your daycare provider (is it always your mom?) some formula for those times when Matilda needs more than what you could pump. Or, stop pumping altogether, and have your daycare provider just give her formula. If you're still nursing her at home, she'll still be getting the nutritional, immunity and touch-stimuli benefits.

It's not going to do her any good to have a guilty, miserable mommy, though. She's not stupid and she lived inside of you for 8ish months. She knows your smells, and all sorts of things about you that we don't have words for. If you're all stressed out, it's going to have an effect on her.

And my Nana would tell you it would sour your milk. Don't argue with my Nana.

Have you given her any solids, yet? What are the guidelines for solids, now? Are they different for Matilda, because she was a preemie? When my children were infants, our pedi told us to introduce solids at four months.

It's still a snow day!! It's still snowing! I watched Venture Brothers (damn, that's good, and I don't even usually like cartoons)! I took a nap! I have decided that I really am 12. And that I really do love snow days. Alas, they almost never come in Alaska because we generally know how to deal with snow.

On the vegetarian front, I had a friend who used to say that she wouldn't eat anything that loved it's mother, which opened up the wide, wide, world of seafood. It always seemed like a pretty straightforward way of describing things to me, but I'm definitely an omnivore.

And JZ, you have wonderful breasts, both decorative and functional. And I hope, hope, hope, I have a chance to, ahem, see Tilda toes when I come down that way.

Introducing solids was the most frequent advice I got from family, friends, strangers. I was so sleep deprived and the answer from them was give the child something solid and he will sleep. My doctor was the voice of sanity. She insisted that no one knew my baby like I did and I would know what was right. The babies game me their clues and they had different needs.

Still, as much as I loved my babies at the breast, the fact they both can cook their own meals now is really super cool.

I have a chance to, ahem, see Tilda toes when I come down that way.

Now when I started to read this sentence I thought you were looking forward to seeing JZ breasts. Which understandable, but not the same delight as Tilda toes.

Introducing solids was the most frequent advice I got from family, friends, strangers. I was so sleep deprived and the answer from them was give the child something solid and he will sleep. My doctor was the voice of sanity. She insisted that no one knew my baby like I did and I would know what was right. The babies game me their clues and they had different needs.

FWIW (and I don't think Laura thinks I was doing this) but I didn't mean to push solids. I was just wondering if Matilda was of an age where it was an appropriate way to supplement the pumped milk which isn't filling her up.

I had people telling me to give Ben solids when he was a couple of weeks old, which just seemed crazy to me.

My doctor had us introduce them at four months, because he said that although they weren't important nutritionally, it gave the baby a chance to learn how to deal with manipulating solids in his mouth, before he became too particular and suspicious of change. Breast milk and/or formula is where they're going to get their important nutrition for the first year, at least. But I know these guidelines change frequently, so what was good 11-6 years ago, may be frowned upon now, and with good reason.

vw, how was your day? Did you have school?

A completely different delight.

eta: I can't believe I typed that out loud.