'Our Mrs. Reynolds'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Happy Birthday Kristin and Maria!
Laura, I'll say congrats to your baby's learner's permit and send some safety-ma for him.
My own mother used to grab the wheel out of my hands when I was first learning to drive with her. She felt, somehow, that I was getting too close to the side of the road so it would be better for her to be the cause of the crash that killed us rather than just tell me I was too close to the berm for her comfort. My eyerolls towards my folks were probably justified.
In high school, my girlfriend used to grab the wheel and pull it while I was driving. Caused me to crash into a snowbank twice. The '73 Mercury I was driving had rather fine grill-pieces, so it would take about half an hour to remove all evidence of the snow from the grill and front of the car.
I have to confess that I am really looking forward to Mr. Know It All learning how to drive my standard Jetta. I've already picked out the out of the way inclines where he shouldn't do much damage as he rolls backwards. It really is one of the easiest clutches I ever used, so it shouldn't be too hard. Still, you know he is going to stall out bunches.
Oops.
Happy Birthday, Maria!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTIN AND MARIA OMG.
Today was a good day for humanity.
Happy birthdays Maria and Kristin!
From my mother, a bit of pharmaceutical humour:
NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. "
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.
And my favorite, which is only available in image form, but is seriously worth clicking on.
Happy Birthday Kristin and mfnlaw!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISTIN!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIA!!!
And, just for me -
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE SISTER OF THE EMPRESS!!!
Happy Birthday Charles Darwin!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRESIDENT LINCOLN!