{{Cass}} I'm sorry for the loss of this lovely woman.

Taunty Matilda!

Ah, there will be plenty of taunting in her future. Poor Emmett.

Did a lot of chores today. Place looks worse than ever. I did get a chunk of Bobby's room done. And DH just mentioned his brother was coming tomorrow at 1. I don't think he'll notice the condition of the house. I'm counting on it.

now I want a chocolate sandwich- a panni filled with a lovely piece of very good, hot, melted chocolate. If DH doesn't get off the phone , I may have to settle for Rum. which is not the same thing at all.

Cass, one of my favorite Millay poems:

Dirge Without Music

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.
Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you.
Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust.
A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew,
A formula, a phrase remains,--but the best is lost.
The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, --
They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled
Is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve.
More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world.
Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave,
Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind;
Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave.
I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned.

-- Edna St. Vincent Millay

And Edna pwns us all.

{{{Cass}}}

{{Cass}}

I adore Edna. She is my fav poet.

Here is my mom's response to my biodata. She doesn't understand capslock; she's not yelling.

SUNIL WHEN I ASED U TO MAKA BIODATA NOT A COMEDY SKIT. DO ANOTHER ONE WITHOUT AL THE COMMETS AND PUT A NICE PICTURE AS WELL. JUST PUT YOUR SCHOOL INFO YOUR PERSONAL THING LIKE HT. WT. AND ALSO YOUR LIKES LIKE LIKES TO READ WATCHE MOVIE. ETC. SEND BIO LIKE THIS SOOON. MOMMY

I am so fucking angry right now. If that's all she wants, she can fucking make it herself. And she can fucking watch me be fucking single my entire fucking life.

Oh, God, I'm an ass. I'm sorry, Cass. {{Cass}}

Ach, PC, that sucks big. Your mom needs to get over it. Tell her this is your LIFE, your WIFE and YOU. Tell her this is the latest thing in biodata -- it's statistically proven to find you a wife faster.

Or present an ultimatum -- it seems to be all she'll understand. "Either I do this MY WAY....or I'll never get married. Ever. Or...or...I'll start shopping around on J-Date!"

Jesus, is the woman never satisfied? I know she's your mom, but I would really, really like to beat her upside the head with a fat cluestick.

I LOVE your biodata.

{{{Cass}}} I'm so sorry, for your loss and for the gutpunch of how you found out.

Ohhh, Millay. Breathtaking and wrenching. Amazing writer, amazing human.

{{P-C}} Sorry. Augh. All your interactions with your family are just... Sisyphean with the uphill and the over and over. Sorry.

Is it morbid to say I want that poem read at my funeral? I love it so. Memorial, I guess, since I want to be crispified.

I want a big grieving, laughing, drunken, embarrasing-story filled, personal testimonial, music filled thang when I die.

Boring funerals are for boring people. I kinda want my death to be an event.

I've fucking had it with this shit. They don't fucking understand me, they never fucking have, and that is exactly why I don't fucking trust them to find me a wife. This is the only ammo I have.