it's also my choice to get upset, too.

Very true.

And it's our choice to go cluestick her.

Totally just kidding.

Want to help me and juliana in our boozing it up? Nothing replaces family angst like drinking.

One of the things we have learned from our therapist is that if she starts exhibiting behavior(s) that we don't like or want to be involved with, we disengage.

This was one of the valuable lessons from the Shamu article.

Except it had a fancy animal trainer name like Least Reinforcing Behavior.

Nothing replaces family angst like drinking.

Hick

Ayup.

Or OAO for short.

Now I'm earwormed with the marching theme from the Wizard of Oz.

OAO! AOO! OAO! AOO!

I am so sorry that family is causing you so much stress and that you don't get anything back from them. You make sure to take care of yourself first.

This. This. This. So very this.

Zenkitty, so many wise things have been said already. The best thing you can do for your sister is to take care of yourself - live your life, do your job, enforce your boundaries. Letting your sister cross the reasonable lines you draw doesn't really do her any good. Oh, it may help her put a smiley face on, but it won't really cause her to be healthier. Learning that she has to respect your boundaries may clue her in to how she can make her own boundaries (and I'd bet a month's pay that that is something she dearly needs to do for herself).

One of life's hardest lessons to learn is that we cannot fix anyone but ourselves. Somehow your sister has gotten the idea that you should fix her (oh but how likely is it that what she wants from you is for you to make her feel better, rather than to really be better?). And you are feeling that obligation to fix her. Bad news.

Re: the terrible story my coworker told (dog lovers especially should not scroll over.) I'm paraphrasing because most of the time he was talking I was loudly asking him to stop so I missed most of his actual words.

I wanted to buy a puppy as a present for my nephew in Taiwan while I was there. I saw some of the cutest fattest puppies for sale at this open air market.

At this point I could see where it was going and I started asking him to please not go on.

So I picked out the cutest one and asked the shopkeeper if I could buy it. I paid him and he said he'd be right back and took the puppy into the back of the shop for a moment.

Gosh I don't even want to type it, Y'all see where this is going don't you? But I asked him several times to stop. If we had been standing somewhere I would have walked away but I was sitting at a desk in the office trying to work.

re: Kids obsessed with death. This is me. Also, when I was in grade school my parents (oh the poor things) found out I was a "genius." The school gave them a packet with some information on how to deal with me. One of the things in there was a list of ways to recognize if your child is a genius. I don't remember most of them but one of them was an unnatural preoccupation with death.

edited because I can spell.

one of them was an unnatural proccupation with death.

And you ended up watching TV shows about vampires. Go figure....

I still have paralyzing moments when I remember that I am not going on forever. Sometimes these moments last for days.

Laga, the sexual part was the touching you. He may not be doing it "as much," but he shouldn't be doing it AT ALL.

Offensive stories that you've asked him to not tell fall into the "creating a hostile work environment" category of harassment. Either way, he needs a bitchslapping/cluesticking.

Also, possibly an Aimee smiting.

The touching is a brief grasp of my bicep or forearm when he's trying to illustrate the seriousness of a point he's making. But yes it is unwelcome and therefore harassment because I asked him to cut it out and he didn't. I think the last time he did it was about a week ago.

eta: I think in behavior modification is it important to address things the moment they happen so I think I should wait until he does it again to explain to him that I am dead serious about that being the last time ever and that if it ever happens again I am bringing it to our boss.