Spike's Bitches 34: They're All Slime and Antlers
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risque (and frisque), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Also, I want Hazard Pay for having to be my emotionally fragile sister's therapist. Especially when she calls me AT WORK to calm her down.
I can always calm her down, but then it's me that's upset. I wish this awful situation would just resolve itself somehow.
Zenkitty, it's really hard to tell family "No," but I believe that it's perfectly acceptable to tell you sister something like, "Sis, I hate what you're going through, and I want to be supportive, but because my workload has increased, when you call me at work I can't give you the kind of attention and feedback that you need. I'll call you tonight after dinner."
You're not abandoning her this way; you're just setting and protecting your boundaries. You're not saying that you won't lend an ear; you're just stipulating *when.*
The professional kind, that she refuses to get "because she doesn't need it and besides, she has me".
See, the next time she says this, you ought to reply with, "Sis, I'm flattered that you think so highly of my listening skills, but I'm not a trained professional. You'd really get much more help if you saw someone who has experience in these areas."
I *know* that it's MUCH easier said than done, but it *is* possible. You can help your sister without letting it suck all the life out of you.
I think the objections were centered around using the child-actor to film the scene, rather than a body double.
This is what I understand as well. Though from what I've heard about Dakota Fanning, she's no typical kid. I think she insisted on doing the scene.
I think though, that it would depend on how the film was shot. The article said that there is no nudity and the only thing of Fanning you see is her face and a hand, I think.
As far as letting Em or any other kid of mine do it, it would depend. Dakota Fanning has been an actress for a pretty long time for someone her age. She's grown up in the film industry. And, this isn't the first time she's played this type of roll. She played the victim of child abuse in an episode of CSI when she was about 7.
I think though, that it would depend on how the film was shot.
Absolutely, and this is why I'm probably not going to get my knickers in a twist over it, because I probably won't even see the finished product.
The article said that there is no nudity and the only thing of Fanning you see is her face and a hand, I think.
Yes. Although I think that was the objectors point, too -- why couldn't they use someone else in the scene.
Whatever. There are a lot of real rapes going on, every minute, and they're much more concerning.
The article said that there is no nudity and the only thing of Fanning you see is her face and a hand, I think.
Yeah. She wore a flesh-tone bodysuit the whole time, and they said that most of what you see is her face, with a few shots of her shoulder and part of her leg.
From what I recall, Pretty Baby was far, far more graphic than that.
Thanks, Steph. I appreciate your listening. Part of the problem, though, is that I've been saying those things to her for two years. Sometimes she doesn't hear me, and sometimes she explodes. Sometimes she promises not to do it again, but as soon as she starts feeling upset, she forgets. It's not even the helping her that's getting to me, so much as the fact that she never listens, she never
hears
anything I say, and she never comforts me when I need it. She does try to, but within two minutes (I've timed her!)
any
conversation comes back around to her, and trying to get and keep her focus back on me is more exhausting than dealing with my problems by myself. It's just her personality; she's too fragile and too self-absorbed to give any of her limited attention to me, and this has always been true; it's not just since mom got sick.
She thinks we'll both be old maids together and live together after we retire. I pray for a husband, so I never have to tell her I can't live with her ever again.
I'm sorry for the TMI dump, but I'm sitting here at my desk nearly in tears after the conversation we just had, and I can't leave so I have to hold it together, and I feel rotten.
Zen, what Steph said. And if she refuses to see a therapist, she should at least talk to a physician about appropriate medication. Which isn't a good option, but at least it's better than nothing.
There are a lot of real rapes going on, every minute, and they're much more concerning.
Perzactly.
Part of the problem, though, is that I've been saying those things to her for two years. Sometimes she doesn't hear me, and sometimes she explodes. Sometimes she promises not to do it again, but as soon as she starts feeling upset, she forgets. It's not even the helping her that's getting to me, so much as the fact that she never listens, she never hears anything I say
Oh, I totally understand. It's not easy at all. But, honestly, when she calls you at work, you *do* have the option of telling her that you can't talk at the moment, and if she keeps going, tell her, "I told you; I have to go now," and then hang up. Hanging up on someone isn't rude in those circumstances.
Again, let me stress: I *know* that it isn't easy.
I think the objections were centered around using the child-actor to film the scene, rather than a body double.
Unless they want the scene to look like kiddie porn, there'd be no point to using a body double, because of the extremely stringent rules in place about how child actors can be used. At no point in filming was Dakota in any danger of being inappropriately touched -- body suits and trick camera angles take care of that.
