As a science person, it sometimes puzzles me why people wouldn't want to pass their genes along to the next generation

Have you met my genes? That lot...you might want to cross the street when you see them coming.

And once again, Steph speaks my mind about the 'selfish' comment. I honestly don't think the woman who said it to me meant to be mean, she was just so strung out on her own guilt for wanting to be free of her situation. Very sad really.

As it turns out, I'm madly in love with other people's good parenting and am a vocal supporter of people who as Cindy put it, are madly in love with their kids. Not much makes me happier to observe.

Plus, as a person with a dog rather than a child, I end up doing a lot more in my community...for the greater good...than I'm sure I would if I was focusing on children. Yes, it is true that raising good kids deserves the medal of honor in my mind...I'm just afraid I would not have had the energy to do it well.

So now I'm the 'cool old lady' to a fantastic 16 year old over whom I have way more influence than I would if I were actually related to him!

Have you met my genes? That lot...you might want to cross the street when you see them coming.

Heh. I was thinking of Patton Oswalt's line when we saw him New Year's Eve, as he recounted how awful his family had turned out: "Genetically speaking, my balls are full of POISON!"

'cool old lady'

I kinda really want to be this. The one that blood and adopted nieces and nephews can come to when they don't feel they can go to their parents. Another Adult Role Model. It's a whole different flavor of love.

"Genetically speaking, my balls are full of POISON!"

I'm not even kidding about how true this is for my line. I stand proud as the one who stopped it all here.

Another Adult Role Model. It's a whole different flavor of love.

This literally brought tears to my eyes.

There are three young people in the world that I've really been there for and the pride I feel at being gifted with their trust and in the choices they have made fills me up so much it leaks out of my eyes.

Yes, Cass - beat the children.

It's for their own good. Somehow. Um, can I get a handwave over here?

There is really just the one I want to throttle. She's been screaming for HOURS. Usually for her dad in that, "I am too SELFISH to go and get him so I will scream until he finds me instead. Or that mean neighbor lady looks for a projectile weapon." way.

You know, the thing that actually pisses me off most about this rudeness is what if they're trying and can't get pregnant, and you've just opened up that can of worms? I mean, it's wrong for any reason, but I'm watching my brother and SIL try and try and not get pregnant, and people ask them when they're gonna have kids, and it breaks my SIL. I just want to smack 'em.

So much this. The three years I spent struggling with infertility would have been so much easier had every. single. person. not been asking incessantly when DexH and I were going to have kids.

I don't know where I stand on trying again. I would like a child (one and only one, though, kthxbye). We'll see. It may very well just not be in the cards.

I'm just afraid I would not have had the energy to do it well.

See, this argument doesn't mean that much to me. Nor comments about being too selfish. Those are just moot when you actually have to take care of a child. For bettter or worse, you force yourself to do the necessary things. All of you would. You'd experience moments of resentment, but you would. Period. None of you would abandon your child, or leave them uncomforted.

I don't say this as an argument for having kids. I'm just noting that those particular arguments are beside the point.

I'm making a distinction here between folks saying they selfishly want to have their own free time so choose not to have kids vs. people who think they would be bad parents because of said selfishness. If you actually had the kid, the selfishness is moot. You'd rise to the occasion.

And Beej gave me allergies right back.

Plei speaks for me in so many ways, except for the part where I had fainting spells rather than bedrest.

People are asking when we're having number two, and I say we aren't, and they get all appalled and tell me, "It's not good to be an only child!" To which I respond, "I'm an only child."

I used to be nice and rather than stopping them cold, say "I won't be getting pregnant again, but we're considering adoption." But too many people got all revolted and freaked and went off on how horrible adoption is. I discovered that that kind of negative reaction to adoption offends me more than being told I'm damaged by being an only child.

I recently read somewhere that the reason many people get so upset about the idea of being an only child is that they think only children must feel bereaved by the loss of their siblings, which is how they would feel, when it's not bereavement at all.