Never mind, all I know of the Big Easy I learned from watching tapes of their news broadcasts for a couple of years. Much fun, when the healthy chef comes to town to preach the gospel of low-fat, low-sodium. "Not use butter? But--why? Don't we want it to taste good? Really, you can go too far with this low-fat thing, too, don't you think?" Puzzled Cajuns staring at horrified dieticians, big fun in the bayou.

Oh, the Vieux Carre of New Orleans has some amazingly expensive homes. So if you need opulence there, you can have it.

There could be a gentification effort along the waterfront, as long as methods of transport other than ships are now in effect. You know, converting those weedy waterfront warehouses to upscale condos, restaurants and shops.

Of course the present residents might not appreciate the deep-pocketed Nouveaus moving in.

Ever been down... I think it's Water Street, or possibly River Street, in Savannah? It's very gentrified along the pedestrian street, now, though the upper storys are still a bit run-down and raffish-looking. And pretty.

Add some gargoyles to the top of this, and I think we have Van Dyke's Folly.

Yep, Sullivan. The man knew tall buildings.

Like this, Connie?

Ooh, nice! And you've placed them between every other pair of arched windows. Very nice.

They're really just scaled-down and twiddled-with versions of the eagle on the fountain. I could replace them with proper gargoyles, if you like.

Not at all, they look proper enough to me, and it's a good thematic reflection, matching the building to the fountain.

North Pole, Christmas Town:

The elves are all gathered on the floor of the toy factory, ready for the big announcemnt. Rumors have been flying about an army poised to attack Christmas Town, but have mostly been dismissed as certain elves spending to much time in the toy painting room.

Santa steps up the the podium and taps the mic a couple of times. "I'm sure you've heard the rumors about an army of Orcs massing to the south. I'm afraid the rumors are true."

There is a collective gasp from the gathered mass of elves along with much tinkling of little bells.

"They are at least ten thousand strong and are expected to attack tonight. We have one day to prepare fortifications and make weapons to defend ourselves." Continues Santa.

One of the elves shouts out. "One Day?! How can we get ready in one day!?"

"This is Christmas Town we do the impossible in one night every year. We will be ready and we will prevail!"

There is cheering and the elves get busy. The toys are put aside and implements of war are constructed instead. Elves start constructing massive fortifications around Christmas Town at improbable speed while singing little Christmas elven ditties since Christmas elves don't really know any war songs.

Santa's assistant elf Danny overlooks the activity with Santa. "So big guy, you really think we're going to get through this."

"No, we're screwed. But we can't let Christmas die without a fight."

Danny shakes, making his little bells ring. "Is there anyone we can call for help."

"Who? The Easter Bunny, the Leprechauns, no we are alone."

"Can't we just give them all the Toys?"

Santa shakes his head slowly. "It isn't the Toys they're after. They're not going to stop until every elf is dead. Danny have Emily the elf gather all the women and little elves and move them into the ice caves under the factory."

"Could I ask Britney the elf instead, Emily is prickly and I don't think she'll coopoerate."

Santa walks off sadly. "Whatever."