I knew learning Ancient Sygaroin was a good idea. It's great for swearing in, as it consists entirely of four-letter words-- though I'm a little distrubed to note that Jossica seems to understand it.

When I've recovered from the shock, I sip coffee and then explain to Penny, "This is trouble. I have a very bad feeling about this. Very bad indeed."

From the look on her face, she didn't need the explanation.

"Anything named 'Aeshma's' is bound to be a bit apocalypsy," I sigh. "I had hoped to spend the summer gardening and now this comes up. Frellin' supervillains. By the way, did you get the tulips I sent?"

"Pretty and tasty!"

"Jesus Dog! She talks?"

Am-Chau nods wearily.

It's my considered opinion that a person can never do too much weary nodding. Especially when faced with *another* possible apocalypse.

"She talks," I tell Penny. "Oh, how she talks. I think she's a sign, or something. Like the Four Horsemen, only just one, and sort of less horsey."

Penny nods-- she knows the sort of thing.

"I'm thinking that some research is in order," I continue. "And for once, research and shopping may be the same trip."

"You're right, of course," I sigh dramatically. For me, sighing dramatically is what nodding wearily is to Am-Chau. "I suppose a little light recon is in order at first, which means leaving weapons behind. Of course, you and I both have weapons which can't be seen."

"Have you worked out the kinks in that cursing thing?"

"Um. Pretty much. Magic tip-top with you?" I can't help glancing at the big hole in the floor.

"Naturally"

"Okay, we're set. We should probably leave the pets - mystical beings - behind."

I nod brightly at the idea of leaving Jossica behind-- though I suspect it comes out wearier than I intended. I really must look into enrolling for that Nodding Course ("Stage 2: Weary Isn't The Only Way") at the local Life-Long-Learning Center (Unlife Studies Incorperated).

"Okay, let's go." I pick up my purse-- only one cabbage leaf left; I need to visit a field sometime soon and get some more money-- lock Dagfari's doors, making sure that Jossica is on the inside (she can't do *that* much harm), and we're set.

Casually, we stroll along the street, taking time to smile at the various neighbours who are out, working on their gardens.

As we make our way downtown I note that several people are using Instagolem for yard work. How nice to make a contribution to the community. Also, ka-ching! I note that at least a few of my King Tulips have re-rooted themselves, which is a relief. There were rumours of predatory behavior, but I'm sure they were wildly exaggerated.

Am-Chau insisted on stopping for coffee again, so I'm feeling fairly stoked. Unfortunately, this does not help my sense of direction.

"Where is this damned place?" I ask, spinning slowly.

I hear another unintelligible curse. Am-Chau is doing that nodding wearily thing again. "Check it out. She points towards the end of the block. "Does anything strike you are particularly heinous?"

"Oh. My. God!"

"Uh-huh."

"The. . . the colours!"

"Look at the sign."

"This is pure. . . "

"Evil?"

Following another cup of coffee and a stroll, I was feeling slightly more able to face the world. Until I saw the sign, anyway. There's bad, and then there's worse, and then there's... *that*.

I close my eyes-- it doesn't invite one to look for long-- and when I open them I'm careful not to look down the block again. The other way along the street, where we've just been, there are several Instagolem working, or there were. I notice that one of them has stopped to talk to some-- something? It's short, must be, down on the pavement, and at this distance I can't quite tell... no, I can see some brown fur... skirt... Edward!

"Excuse me," I mutter at Penny, hoping she doesn't mistake it for another curse, and take off running. Edward on the loose wasn't a good idea; and if Penny asks questions, I can always claim that we'll need some sort of back-up when we go into... that place. You know. The Shop We Dare Not Name.

Am-Chau goes to retrieve her bear. I wonder if she realizes how treacherous that little bitch (bastard?) can be. I decide to bring this up again later.

I glance toward the . . . place. I can feel the evil emanating it, oozing towards my minds, my heart, my credit cards. Bargains. Deals. Good buys.

I shake myself out of a near-trance and check my wallet. My credit cards are still there. Turning away from Retain Tempter, I phone my bank and put a hold on everything. Aeshma may take over the world, but I'll be damned if he'll get a dime of my money. At least no more than the $20 I have in my purse.

Damn! I got nearly all the way, stopped to ask directions from someone taller, and Am-Chau happened along and stopped me.

Foiled again!

Never mind-- we seem to still be heading for Aeshma's, so it can't be all bad. I might get to buy something while her back is turned, especially if I put on the extra cute and get Penny to ignore me. It's a good thing I put on the baby!Goth clothes this morning: long black dress with blood-red flowers, and normal black hat but at 'perky' angle. I thought about the fishnet stockings, but they don't really work with fur.

Riding in Am-Chau's pocket isn't as dignified as I'd like, though.

I pick up a cheap plastic doll of a horned fellow with a pitchfork, something seems wrong with it's head. "What are these?" I ask my minion.

"Prince of Darkness bobblehead dolls boss. It's a promotion. The first 666 customers get one free."

"Oh. Very well." I turn over the doll and see the 'Made in Purgatory' label. Well, no wonder the quality is so poor. "We need a 'Do Not Touch' sign next to the pure concentrated evil display. We've already lost a couple of customers."

"Sure thing boss, I'm right on it."

"Also, I'll need you to set up another summoning circle so I can increase our staff."

"Yes boss".

"Those 'Darkest Magic' books need to be behind the counter." I point to a display just carelessly out where any fool could pick one up.

"How about the 'Darker than Darkest Magic' books?"

I smack my minion a couple of times. "Obviously." I need more minions. Smarter minions. Spreading evil through the retail channel is turning out to be more of a bother than I anticipated.