Hi. Staying out of this a bit--more interested in what other people think right now--but, really, as far as I can see, there've only been "complaints" about two (or possibly one) poster, and a general sense of annoyance with another one (except that person stayed firmly within the rules, but they found themsleves jumped on, mostly by "old-timers.")

I'd like to point out that we've had, in the same period of time, at least two or three or more new users a day, often more. Very few of them post, and many that do have been just fine.

I've more than once asked people to chill, and more than once it's revolved around Schmoker. On the other hand, I can't help but think that a few folks were being more...reactionary...than neccessary.

There've been a lot of changes here lately. I'm okay with all of them. I'm still okay with everybody. But I really think people need to relax a little, remember that, on occasion, people are going to be jerks and to not let themselves get caught up in it. Because a few people really DO stir up a pot, but only you can let them get to you.

And, if it does get out of hand, they'll get stomped.

Well, I do it. And it often takes the form of "Am I overreacting, or....". Which sometimes gets the answer of "You're overreacting." I sanity-check my friends, and they return the favor.

Maybe we could have gone into more of a "Do we have enough glasses for everyone? What about chairs? OK, we'll all sit on the floor" mode.

When we all sit on the floor, all hell breaks loose.

I'm stone cold conservative on this. Slow growth is good. Maybe there's only two chairs for every six newbies. Me? I'm keeping my own room, and no one is allowed to sit on my bed. But I got a nice futon for overnight guests. They stay too long, they have to eventually start paying rent.

I'm a selfish, snobby, elitist Buffista. And i realize that I'm probably alienating some people with that statement.

I know the attitude before about new people was "one of us! one of us!" and now the attitude is "prove yourself."

Bore repeating. It's this trend I think I find most disturbing.

I'd like to suggest that this is the civilized way to handle people who annoy you -- gossip behind their backs.

Wow do I not agree with this. If you can't say it to someone's face, my personal policy is to try not to say anything. Not saying I'm always so angelic, but to characterize gossip as civilized doesn't work for me. IJS.

I'm with Knut. I post on another board where if you expressed BHP's POV, you'd get thwapped. I mean, I agree back-channelling is better than picking huge fights every time someone posts because you cannot stand the way they hit the "e" (online equivalent of the way they "breathe"). But in general, it's better to bite your tongue typing fingers and just let. it. go. I decided a few months ago that I wasn't usually gonna fight with people online anymore -- and I'm *amazed* how much happier I am with the time I put into this. IJS.

Plus, I don't feel like I understand the social network here well enough to be certain that a snarky email sent to person C about person A won't make its way back to A very quickly. But that's me.

I'm a selfish, snobby, elitist Buffista. And i realize that I'm probably alienating some people with that statement.

Not me.

Plus, I really respect your opinion, Allyson, b/c you've seen The Bronze (Mark 1) fall apart.

My view of what happened to the Bronze is my own, though, Steph. A whole lot of people HATED the old Bronze, the constant fighting, the quick stomp on newbies that spoke in chatlice dialects, etc.

I was a meanie, there. I came here because I could just talk without feeling the need to boot every third person in the teeth for cluttering the board with chatcrap and idiocy.

than your suggested alternative

Michele, what alternative did I suggest? The one about "Do we have enough glasses?" It was more of a wishful thinking about how I wish things would have gone. Not many alternatives at the moment, just dissection and cleaning up.

Well, like I said, I'm sorry if my talking about back-channelling makes people uncomfortable. But I'm not sorry I do it, because otherwise my head would explode.

This is fascinating for me because it's challenging my worldview. I take it for granted that if you're friends with A,B, and C, you will occasionally quietly say to C "What IS with A lately?" and you assume that B sometimes does the same about you. I think that that sort of quiet venting helps keep the larger friendship alive; if you sit on the resentment and never vent it, it builds up. If you do a reality check with one person, you get to vent, and you also get to find out if you're misbehaving. I think of it as midcourse correction; now I'm learning that some people think of it as betrayal.