But there was a time when I spoke up because I was offended (even used the word offended in my post), and I was shot down. I was not apologized to. I was told how wrong I was.

Well, that's bad, and yes-- no Buffista is necessarily always good at those (as I saw them) "rules" of posting and apologizing, intrinsically just because they're a Buffista. I've had scrapes with other "long-time" Buffistas in the past because their posting styles were unavoidably rubbing me the wrong way-- & worse, just yesterday or the day before I myself (shock horror!) went over the line in a certain thread and was gently stomped by ita.

And so I'm sorry no one apologized to you. They should have. Those are things we all have to work towards. I think. It is my belief.

I'm talking about newbies, and like vw said, not even about an influx. Every addition to a community requires a learning period for all concerned. I don't want an island. I want cross pollination. I don't want the community to risk dying off from slow attrition, or to resort to something actually elitist like having new members vouched for by the old.

Wrod.

And she's old-school, so we should listen...

t shakes fist threateningly

I'm with Ita on this, and I'd just like to note again that the level of discussion on the subject itself is encouraging.

Now if only we can convince bellicose sorts that they'd be happier on AICN...

I'll just say that no one should feel, or be made to feel, that they are less worthy, or have less status, intrinsically because they joined later.

Word. Totally.

I'm in an odd place WRT "oldtimer/newbie" b/c I've technically been around for 2 years, but really I've been in and out since we moved to WXing and only got here for more than a few posts about a month ago. So in a way, I identify with both camps, if there are camps. FWIW, yes there are growing pains and joining pains and all kinds of pains... but if you try, if you listen and are honest and think and do all the things you always do when meeting new people, you're fine.

Arguing with someone you know is different from arguing with someone you don't. Period.

I'm wondering what the interpersonal online expectations are, and why they seem to be so different from meatspace expectations.

Yes. This. It may be my newness to on-line areas, but I'm not quite sure what we're aiming at here.

no one should feel, or be made to feel, that they are less worthy, or have less status, intrinsically because they joined later. That's absolutely insane. If you think you were unfairly condescended to, that's not good.

This also. I'm very glad to say that while I've experienced the 'do they even care what I say?' thing, I can quite happily put that down to a) normal newbies feelings and b) normal mild paranoia.

I also want to say that I'm very glad that Buffistas isn't a private island, and doesn't even have an attempt at it (in the way that, for example, LiveJournal does). I wouldn't be here if it did. (Of course, that might be a reason you want it to be....)

Edit: rather xposty.

but I'm not quite sure what we're aiming at here.

We're talking! To figure out a few things! And also to hear ourselves talk!

It's not life if you're not nattering about something.

(in the way that, for example, LiveJournal does).

God, LJ is so weeeird. Can I just whine for a second? Yes. Thank you.

We're talking! To figure out a few things! And also to hear ourselves talk!

Ah. Buffistas. I forget sometimes.

I only mention that this should be a private board outright because it seems that many wish it could be. But I don't natter so I doubt I'd really feel the impact on the comraderie as the core Buffistas do.

This joining thing? Hardly unique. These joining pains? Hardly unique. What is pretty Buffista about it is the level of discussion about them, in my experience. Which I think is more a good thing than a bad.

I agree.

And it may blow over. It really doesn't seem like too many of the several hundred new registrants are actually posting much.

BTW, there's a link to Tim's posts last night on the Whedonesque blog.

Just to join the processing party a bit...

If we make this a private island, it'll die. I'd rather be flooded with trolls than become some kind of private members club, I really would.

It could die either way -- if we become a private island, we'd probably burn down and flicker out, with the flood of trolls, we'd probably explode at some point into a ball of flames. Either way would be too bad, but the first is almost certain, and we can guard against the second.

But I don't natter so I doubt I'd really feel the impact on the comraderie as the core Buffistas do.

It's funny to me seeing the little sub-communities that seem to be popping up. I mean, I'm hardly in the show threads at all, and when I am I see a lot of people I don't know. And that's cool. So if we're talking about the comraderie of, say, the Firefly thread, that's going to be a different comraderie from Natter, or Spoilers, and I don't think they'll ever be fully integrated again. Which is fine by me -- not many people really have the time to keep up with all the discussions in every thread.