It's been a long time since I hung out at b.org regularly. There are a lot of folks who probably don't remember me and there are a lot of folks who joined after I went dormant. I dunno what it is but I feel like with how the election is coming out, I need to reach out for community differently. And it would definitely be nice to become active again in a community that's on its own server.

Lots has changed with me. Lots has changed with y'all, I'm sure.

But here I am again, dipping my toe in the waters of Buffistadom. Please be gentle.

As I mentioned awhile back in the updates thread, I'm in the process of a divorce. I've finally been assigned a court date. Next Monday, November 14th, at 11:30 am local time.

Our divorce is via mutual agreement, but I've learned some disturbing truths recently. The fact that we have agreed is inconsequential. If the judge decides the agreement is unfair in some way it can be rejected. And oh my is it unfair. I'm getting nothing except my daughter and a measly 150 euro a month in child support. I caved on every single other topic because all I want is to leave this country with my child. And that's not the only thing the judge could find fault with. Our custody arrangement has my husband getting six weeks visitation each summer and we alternate Christmas and Easter. A logical arrangement when you realize there will be 4000 miles between us. But an unheard of arrangement for Belgium where co-parenting is the norm.

We go to court on the fourteenth, but the judge has one month from then to make a decision. Please spare Luna and I any ~ma you can to help us get out of here. I've been strong for about as long as I can be and if I find out I'm going to be stuck here for an unspecified amount of time (or possibly forever) I don't know how I'll manage. Thank you.

(And oh the irony that I may finally get out of here only to return to a Trump run America. Fate is cruel!)

DC/Baltimore-istas, I'm looking for people who can re-home some well taken care of semi-outdoor ghostcats. Another community lost the cats' owner last night and we're trying to place. Profile addy is good.

ETA - cats have homes. Thank you!]

ETA - there are two more cats that need homes, they are apparently wonderful cats....

Some calming~ma between 10am-1pm mountain would be appreciated. I'm not too worried about the Lasik procedure itself, I'm just anxiety filled from too many things and this needs me to be calm.

After neck surgery Tuesday, my dad is being released today. It will be 3 months of recovery and most of that will fall on my mom. I plan to go over every evening for a while to give her a break. Thanks for all the support.

Could I get some ~ma for my dad? My brother took him to the emergency room tonight. There's been a whole host of complications lately and he's started having problems with his arm swelling up. He can hardly dress himself anymore, and it appears to be getting worse. He can barely walk anymore and he used to do 45 minutes a day walking around the mall. And then with the arm swelling up and a complete loss of motor function in the arm seemed like it was better to take him in than risk something catastrophic happening.

Dad update: it's lung cancer. He's got a large mass in the upper right lobe that's pressing on nerves and blood vessels in his shoulder; hence, the pain and swelling. There's smaller spots all over his lungs and the lungs are 1/8-1/4 filled with fluid. No chemo, he's too old (93) and all they're worried about now is quality of life until the end. So, radiation therapy starting tomorrow to try to reduce the large mass. No one mentioned how much time this will give him.

Thanks for the ~ma; if you could keep it coming, every little bit is greatly appreciated.

Update: I am divorced! It will be one month before I get the judgment in hand, but it's a legal formality. The judge actually said to me, in English no less, "You are now divorced." This is not at all how my lawyer explained the procedure to me, but as I've learned repeatedly during this process, his English is not nearly as good as he thinks it is. I must wait for the official judgment, which must then be officially translated and submitted to the embassy, and when I return to the states I'll have to have it accepted by the courts in Maine because that is where we were married. But it's all formalities at this point as I understand it. And Luna and I will be home by New Years. I am so relieved. I have seven years of stress waiting to come out and once this shock wears off I'm probably going to have a solid cry. But happy tears!

LAistas, a friend of mine is moving to Los Angeles and the spring to take a job with Loot Crate. Are you interested and willing to be the social sponsor for him and his partner? It will be their first time on the West Coast. I think they are looking for a home in the Echo Park area. You can email me at my profile addy.

Thank you all for the ~ma. Dad passed away this evening in as much comfort as we could provide him. He managed to be a cantankerous old coot and a deeply caring man at the same time. A fierce intellect that took no prisoners, who could logic you under the table in two seconds flat (absolutely brilliant mathematician), a lover of jazz and opera, WWII vet, handsome devil that still made ladies' hearts flutter (the nurses were all ga-ga over him). He was such a tremendous support throughout my life and helped me start over more than once. He will be deeply missed by his family and friends.