Strega, commenting on an English-only sign in a restaurant:
This is America: WHEN ORDERING 'PLEASE SPEAK ENGLISH'
This is English: When writing instructions, please don't use inverted commas for emphasis.
Don't I get a cookie?
Spike ,'Never Leave Me'
Coffee On My Monitor
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Susan W. - Mar 20, 2008 8:01:01 am PDT #9660 of 10000
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights
JZ - Mar 20, 2008 9:44:41 am PDT #9661 of 10000
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.
Betcha Jon B could.
Oh, SNAP!
Good times, good times.
amych - Mar 20, 2008 6:32:46 pm PDT #9662 of 10000
Now let us crush something soft and watch it fountain blood. That is a girlish thing to want to do, yes?
The postmodern, it kills me (in Premium):
P-C: DAMN YOU, WIKIPEDIA.
Frank: Welcome to Deadwood, cocksucker.
Trudy Booth - Mar 20, 2008 9:46:39 pm PDT #9663 of 10000
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
Erin: I do not want a lawnmower. I want to paint my wall turquoise and buy more bookshelves. That's it.
WindSparrow - Mar 23, 2008 9:40:37 pm PDT #9664 of 10000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
Enough funny to bring rupture blood vessels in my brain - in Bitches, on Mike Rowe's career before hosting "Dirty Jobs":
erikaj:
Foamy dude, Mr. Rowe. Funny. Nice teeth.(I have a thing about that.) Manly, in a good way. The opera singer thing is a nice bonus, though. As are things like "daggone it," and being willing to look dumb on TV....Laga:
wait, Mike Rowe is an opera singer?
SuziQ:
Yep. He also used to sell stuff on QVC. He got in trouble for having a nun doll upside down in his lap.
Laga:
wow. My eh for Mike Rowe just turned into a hmm.
Trudy Booth - Mar 24, 2008 2:45:34 pm PDT #9665 of 10000
Greece's financial crisis threatens to take down all of Western civilization - a civilization they themselves founded. A rather tragic irony - which is something they also invented. - Jon Stewart
Nora Deirdre: Three is totally the fit throwing age. Do your friends have kids or know many people with kids?
Miracleman: Actually, they have a child, but that's a whole 'nother Oprah.
Aimée: 3 year olds are raw manic depression. I'm convinced.
beth b: I think that might be truer than I want it to be
Aimée: It's definitely truer than that I want it to be.
****
Aimée: As a parent, I was totally torturing Em yesterday. She was pretending that Joe and I were sick and was bringing us stuff.
Em: "Here's your juice, baby."
Me: "I DON'T LIKE THAT JUICE! I WANT WATER!"
Em: Ok - here's your water.
Me: "I DON'T LIKE WATER I SAID I PROMISE!"
She just looked at me askance and kissed me on my forehead and said, "You need your nap, baby."
Joe fell out of his chair laughing.
SailAweigh - Mar 25, 2008 4:14:50 am PDT #9666 of 10000
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb
Early morning stealth posting attempt yields:
Aimee in Bitches:
my bobbes were uncle discussing my gauchos. I'm not kidding. It's tripoli crazy because I haven't work any in YONKS.
Scrappy - Mar 25, 2008 6:21:40 am PDT #9667 of 10000
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
B & S, bringing the funny.
sarameg - Oh & I should add, I also woke up to 1.5 L of juice all across my kitchen floor. And a cat with sticky patches of fur.
brenda m - Wow, it's like one of those locked room mysteries. Let us know if you find any clues, sara.
Pix - Mar 25, 2008 8:03:33 am PDT #9668 of 10000
We're all getting played with, babe. -Weird Barbie
In Natter:
megan walker: In France, you are only taught cursive. And it is fairly common practice to handwrite job application letters (in fact, it is sometimes required and companies do handwriting analysis on it).
Miracleman: Man, that would suck. My handwriting (both print and cursive) is so atrocious that I would never ever get a job.
The analysis would come back "Severly impaired or possibly an unfrozen caveman. Do not hire."
Steph L. - Mar 25, 2008 12:06:52 pm PDT #9669 of 10000
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe
Bitches on bad debt --
Aimee: I don't know where to put Bad Debt.
Miracleman: In the corner. Bad Debt gets a Time Out.
megan walker: It's not bad. It's just drawn that way.
Polter-Cow: I think you mean overdrawn.