Susan W. in Bitches on her daughter's desire to appear in a school Christmas Pageant as a Pirate, and accepting the compromise of Pirate-Shepherd:
I mentioned the "pirate shepherd" thing on another board and got the following response:
And there were in the same country pirate shepherds, abiding in the crow’s nest, keeping watch over their ship by night. And lo, the pirate angel of the Lord appeared before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they said, “Arrrrrrrrr!,” for they were sore afraid. And the pirate angel said unto them, “Avast me hearties! Fear not, for I bring ye tidings of great joy, which shall be to all: salty sea dogs and scallywags and wenches and bilge rats and landlubbers alike. For unto ye is born this day in yon City of David a savior, which is Christ the Lord.
I sent it to DH, and he responded with:
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly buccaneers appeared with the pirate angel, praising God and singing the sea shanty,
"Yo! Ho! Glory to God!
and on earth be peace on those he favors,
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum!"
In Bitches:
-t:
For those of you keeping score at home - the drainage for the washer is still not working, but plumber dude is pretty determined. He suspects a clog is thwarting us and he and his snake will not be denied.
By which I absolutely do not mean porn.
The Miracleborn show continues in Bitches (I'm just the set up):
KristinT:
Sorry, I edited and made you look crazy.
Aimée:
Nyah.
Miracleman:
You don't have to edit to make her look crazy.
(ducks and runs like the Hounds of Hell are on his heels)
Aimée:
(narrows eyes)
(buys two great danes)
(names them "Fuck" and "Off".)
In Bitches, a new teaching technique, notable if for nothing better than the onamotapoeias:
KristinT -
I just realized that I've put a picture of a woman running a sword through a child on the front of the first exam these students have ever taken.
Oops.
MiracleMan -
No, no...not "oops". Let 'em think you did it on purpose. Not one of them will fuck with you, and every kid who gets above a C will feel like they just escaped certain death.
The only way you could improve on what you've inadvertently done would be to slaughter one of them right before the test and plant their head on a spike on your desk.
*Stabbity stab stab!* *SPLURCH! squeeky*
"Turn over your papers. You may begin."
Ginger speaks truth in Bitches:
there's something your parents have kept from you. Everyone sucks at being an adult. We all get the impression from our parents that there's some age at which we magically stop fucking up, because when we're little, adults seem so much more competent. In fact, they're all out there forgetting their visas, not taking their medicine, always paying late charges on their credit cards, making stupid impulse purchases and invading Iraq.
obscure holiday traditions explained:
Vortex:
what's a yankee gift exchange?
Trudy:
Everyone does steroids and buys each other pennants.
In Movies, discussing the Joker --
Polter-Cow:
When you think about it, how dangerous could Nicholson's Joker really be, if he spent that much time on his makeup?
Matt the Bruins Fan:
Says a man who has obviously never been confronted by a livid drag queen.
The Tech wackiness started with DX posting a link to an article on a small commercial nuclear power plant, for an apartment building, small group of individuals, etc:
DXMachina
I see a new purchase in Castle Gudanov's future...
[link]
NoiseDesign
That is way too cool.
Gudanov
Home improvement project
DXMachina
Think of the stereo system you could drive with it.
eta: I love that they're positioning it for the consumer market:
The new reactor, which is only 20 feet by 6 feet, could change everything for small remote communities, small businesses or even a group of neighbors who are fed up with the power companies and want more control over their energy needs.
(italics mine)
tommyrot
The article mentions that it could be used to power an apartment building or even be used by a group of individuals who wanted off the power grid.
Somehow I imagine the government might put some...
obstacles
in the way of private citizens who want to own their own petite nuclear power plant....
eta: x-posty with DX's edit....
Tom Scola
I imagine the government might put some... obstacles in the way of private citizens who want to own their own petite nuclear power plant....
Pffft! What could possibly go wrong?
tommyrot
Also, I wonder how much it weighs...
::dusts off blueprints for nuclear powered zeppelin::
tommyrot
Pffft! What could possibly go wrong?
Remember that '70s made-for-TV movie about the nuclear powered super-bus?
NoiseDesign
Pffft! What could possibly go wrong?
I'm sure they'd do great in Southern California. What could possible hurt an underground nuclear plant there?
tommyrot
I'm sure they'd do great in Southern California. What could possible hurt an underground nuclear plant there?
Crips and Bloods attempting drive-by shootings of each other's nuclear power plants?
ita
So where do you buy lithium 6?
Gudanov
Pffft! What could possibly go wrong?
There would be occasional giant insect attack, but that's what chainsaws are for
NoiseDesign
I'm sure Duracell will market it in a new laptop battery soon.
Gudanov
So where do you buy lithium 6?
Wal-Mart
NoiseDesign
It's on the shelf next to the ice-9
tommyrot
I'm sure Duracell will market it in a new laptop battery soon.
Nah. Apple is the one to introduce cutting-edge technology.
::Waits for iNuke::
flea
I love you all.
KristinT
I picture
iNuke
as a tall white tower with blue, bubbly radioactive waste that smells like baby powder.
NoiseDesign
And you'd have install iTunes to turn it on.
DXMachina
...And sign up for a two year contract with AT&T.
NoiseDesign
The bill would come in a 14' delivery truck.
tommyrot
And there'd be annoying Apple DRM to prevent you from turning it into a breeder reactor and making your own weapons-grape plutonium...
DXMachina
making your own weapons-grape plutonium...
Plutonium comes in flavors now? It truly is an age of wonders.
NoiseDesign
Apple plutonium does.
DXMachina
Of course it does. How silly of me.
Gudanov
Well Toshiba is developing it, so I'm waiting for the Toshiba notebook with a 40 year battery life, the Satellite Nuke. That sounds more like a DOD project though.
DXMachina
Try getting that laptop through airport (continued...)
