The Miracleborn show continues in Bitches (I'm just the set up):

KristinT:

Sorry, I edited and made you look crazy.

Aimée:

Nyah.

Miracleman:

You don't have to edit to make her look crazy.

(ducks and runs like the Hounds of Hell are on his heels)

Aimée:

(narrows eyes)

(buys two great danes)

(names them "Fuck" and "Off".)

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Context, schmontext:

erikaj in Movies:

Or if nothing else, stigmata look like defensive wounds.

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In Bitches, a new teaching technique, notable if for nothing better than the onamotapoeias:

KristinT -

I just realized that I've put a picture of a woman running a sword through a child on the front of the first exam these students have ever taken.

Oops.

MiracleMan -

No, no...not "oops". Let 'em think you did it on purpose. Not one of them will fuck with you, and every kid who gets above a C will feel like they just escaped certain death.

The only way you could improve on what you've inadvertently done would be to slaughter one of them right before the test and plant their head on a spike on your desk.

*Stabbity stab stab!* *SPLURCH! squeeky*

"Turn over your papers. You may begin."

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Ginger speaks truth in Bitches:

there's something your parents have kept from you. Everyone sucks at being an adult. We all get the impression from our parents that there's some age at which we magically stop fucking up, because when we're little, adults seem so much more competent. In fact, they're all out there forgetting their visas, not taking their medicine, always paying late charges on their credit cards, making stupid impulse purchases and invading Iraq.

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obscure holiday traditions explained:

Vortex: what's a yankee gift exchange?

Trudy: Everyone does steroids and buys each other pennants.

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In Movies, discussing the Joker --

Polter-Cow: When you think about it, how dangerous could Nicholson's Joker really be, if he spent that much time on his makeup?

Matt the Bruins Fan: Says a man who has obviously never been confronted by a livid drag queen.

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Ginger, in Bitches:

Want to guarantee I'll haunt you? Make a montage of my life using "Hallelujah."

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The Tech wackiness started with DX posting a link to an article on a small commercial nuclear power plant, for an apartment building, small group of individuals, etc:

DXMachina

I see a new purchase in Castle Gudanov's future... [link]

NoiseDesign

That is way too cool.

Gudanov

Home improvement project

DXMachina

Think of the stereo system you could drive with it.

eta: I love that they're positioning it for the consumer market:

The new reactor, which is only 20 feet by 6 feet, could change everything for small remote communities, small businesses or even a group of neighbors who are fed up with the power companies and want more control over their energy needs.

(italics mine)

tommyrot

The article mentions that it could be used to power an apartment building or even be used by a group of individuals who wanted off the power grid.

Somehow I imagine the government might put some... obstacles in the way of private citizens who want to own their own petite nuclear power plant....

eta: x-posty with DX's edit....

Tom Scola

I imagine the government might put some... obstacles in the way of private citizens who want to own their own petite nuclear power plant....

Pffft! What could possibly go wrong?

tommyrot

Also, I wonder how much it weighs...

::dusts off blueprints for nuclear powered zeppelin::

tommyrot

Pffft! What could possibly go wrong?

Remember that '70s made-for-TV movie about the nuclear powered super-bus?

NoiseDesign

Pffft! What could possibly go wrong?

I'm sure they'd do great in Southern California. What could possible hurt an underground nuclear plant there?

tommyrot

I'm sure they'd do great in Southern California. What could possible hurt an underground nuclear plant there?

Crips and Bloods attempting drive-by shootings of each other's nuclear power plants?

ita

So where do you buy lithium 6?

Gudanov

Pffft! What could possibly go wrong?

There would be occasional giant insect attack, but that's what chainsaws are for

NoiseDesign

I'm sure Duracell will market it in a new laptop battery soon.

Gudanov

So where do you buy lithium 6?

Wal-Mart

NoiseDesign

It's on the shelf next to the ice-9

tommyrot

I'm sure Duracell will market it in a new laptop battery soon.

Nah. Apple is the one to introduce cutting-edge technology.

::Waits for iNuke::

flea

I love you all.

KristinT

I picture iNuke as a tall white tower with blue, bubbly radioactive waste that smells like baby powder.

NoiseDesign

And you'd have install iTunes to turn it on.

DXMachina

...And sign up for a two year contract with AT&T.

NoiseDesign

The bill would come in a 14' delivery truck.

tommyrot

And there'd be annoying Apple DRM to prevent you from turning it into a breeder reactor and making your own weapons-grape plutonium...

DXMachina

making your own weapons-grape plutonium...

Plutonium comes in flavors now? It truly is an age of wonders.

NoiseDesign

Apple plutonium does.

DXMachina

Of course it does. How silly of me.

Gudanov

Well Toshiba is developing it, so I'm waiting for the Toshiba notebook with a 40 year battery life, the Satellite Nuke. That sounds more like a DOD project though.

DXMachina

Try getting that laptop through airport (continued...)

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( continues...) security...

Gudanov

Apple plutonium does.

For the new iWarhead with the translucent housing.

Gudanov

Try getting that laptop through airport security...

You'd just have to arm it, er... I mean turn it on for them.

tommyrot

For the new iWarhead with the translucent housing.

Of course, it sucks that Steve Jobs insists that iWarhead only come with one button....

amych

Of course, it sucks that Steve Jobs insists that iWarhead only come with one button....

But with the multi-touch interface on the control rods, all you have to do is make this cute little pinchy gesture to stop that meltdown!

tommyrot

Yeah. Or you can just drag the slider from the mushroom cloud icon to the puppy icon.

NoiseDesign

The cloud is actually in the shape of a puppy.

tommyrot

The cloud is actually in the shape of a puppy.

Yeah. Some day that might cause a problem....

NoiseDesign

They were going to do it in the shape of an Apple but the Beatles threatened to sue them.

tommyrot

So if ever there's an accidental nuclear apocalypse, the mutated survivors will be roaming the countryside, beating puppies with sticks....

NoiseDesign

Seems reasonable to me.

omnis_audis

DUDE! Do you know what this means?!?! MM can have an awesome power source for his Transporter development! We (as B.org) TOTALLY have to chip in for one. It should be safe in Mich. Nothing bad happens there.

DXMachina

Nothing bad happens there.

You've obviously haven't been paying attention to U Michigan's football team this year.

It's true, though. It's like a world domination starter kit.

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flea in Natter:

I am now desirous of writing a book with the title: Oscar Mike Golf Whiskey Tango Foxtrot Bravo Bravo Quebec.

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