In Bitches, context be damned:

Raq: And I'm having to try to teach my son that Christmas != The Grinch and The Grinch != Christmas. (When he says "I want Christmas" he means he wants to want TGWSC.) So we're at the store and I am pointing to non-grinchy things: "Look! Christmas stockings! Christmas bows! Christmas trees!"

Later, when there are a number of people around, he points and yells, "Christmas Ho's!"

Laga: You usually don't have to walk too far in my neighborhood to find Santa kneeling in a creche.

In Bitches:

Laga: I think she [Laga's sister] was (as my brother says) a jewess for a couple of years at most. iirc the last year we had a menorah I was in 7th grade and I know I was in jr. high when she started going to temple. Nevertheless I still know (pardon my phonetics) baruch atta attanoy, alohenou melach a olam!

The best part of the whole thing was that this was the way my sister chose to rebel against my parents. I just love that my parents were so open minded about our lifestyle choices that the only way to piss them off was to pursue an organized religion.

I should point out that after they got over their initial, "wha?" my parents were totally cool with my sister being Jewish. That's probably why she lost interest.

In Natter:

Nilly:

Dana, if you run and join the circus, will you have to go to circus school and do circus homework?

Miracleman:

"Hey, man, wanna come out tonight?"

"Can't, man. Look at this homework load: For Professor Bongo I gotta juggle thirteen fish, a torch and a midget by Thursday, I have a fifteen page essay on the uses of custard due tomorrow for Professor Honksalot and Professor Jiggles says my seltzer in the face pratfall doesn't pass muster, so I gotta work on that. I'm swamped, dude."

"Mid-terms are a bitch."

sarameg and Frankenbuddha in Natter:

sarameg

My hairdryer attempted to self destruct this morning.

Frankenbuddha

Did you choose to accept the assignment?

After the Apocalypse, in Bitches

ita: Whatever would I busy myself doing in a lawless world full of panicking people?

amych: Build a web-based discussion board?

Damn, beat me to it!

In Minearverse:

NoiseDesign: All of the executives I've worked with are so isolated and out in fantasy land they wouldn't get the news if 10,000 fans stood in front of their office and lit themselves on fire.

victor infante: Which, actually, I think is one of the strike "fun themes" scheduled for next week.

Polter Cow asked about Laurell K. Hamilton and got answers. Lots of answers.

PC: (quotes askye) Anita has to have sex with Richard or die.

How ... does that work, exactly?

Dana: Oh, you are going to be so sorry you asked.

Natter collectively decides that Cookies Are Forever (edited/shuffled a bit to make sense):

Nora Dierdre - Hm, I bought a cookie to eat tonight before my class. However, I want it now. What to do?

(What would DeBeers Do?)

Gudanov - Convince someone else that the cookie is worth $1000, you sell it, then you use the money to start a cookie-baking sweatshop, and have all the cookies that you want.

Nora Deirdre - Oops. I et it up already! I am such a bad planner.

bon bon - De Beers would tell you to keep the cookie forever as both (a) an investment and (b) a sign of love, fidelity, and apparently, Victorian hopes and dreams. And then they would make it impossible to dispose of the cookie.

Gudanov - To be fair, who really wants to toss their cookies?

brenda m - Never forgetting that you must upgrade to a larger and shinier cookie every few years or all of the above is meaningless.

Jesse - You'll clearly need an even better cookie before class.

Gudanov - Which is determined by the four Cs; crispiness, chocolate content, chewiness, and circularity.

Nora Deirdre - Stupid DeBeers! I want my cookie now! I am terrible with dessert-related waiting games of cunning and patience.

I agree with Jesse that I ought to get a second cookie for later.

Sparky1 - DeBeers will also tell you you'll need a cookie for your other hand.

bon bon - Because of FEMINISM!

Jesse - Nora, obviously you're an independent modern woman who NEEDS a second cookie. I mean, really. If you're going to stand up for anything in this world, it's a right-hand cookie.

tommyrot: The Most Shocking Things Ever Found Inside Of A Dog’s Stomach

Knives, choke chain, wii controller....

Juliette Piesley, 39, had changed the battery in her electronic key fob but was then unable to start her car.

When AA patrolman Kevin Gorman arrived at the scene in Addlestone, Surrey, he found its immobiliser chip was missing.

Ms Piesley said her dog George had eaten something, and realising it was the chip, he put the dog in the front seat and started the car with the key.[…]

“They will now have to take George [the dog] with them in the car until things take their natural course.

brenda m: That dog is a hero to all dog-kind.