In Bitches --
meara: Good lord! Carrots really are breaking out all over b.org!
Zoe: We're getting him back. Jayne: What are we gonna do, clone him?
'War Stories'
Coffee On My Monitor
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Steph L. - Mar 23, 2006 5:27:22 pm PST #8373 of 10000
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe
meara - Mar 24, 2006 1:59:44 pm PST #8374 of 10000
In Literary:
David S.: It is a sad comment on our society that so few aspire to be tango pirates anymore.
Strega: Some of the tango pirates were really privateers for the dancing queen.
Scrappy - Mar 28, 2006 6:53:46 am PST #8375 of 10000
Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.
TomW speaking culinarily in Natter:
I feel that chocolate is a big bully in most recipes. Stick any amount of chocolate into a sweet recipe and it muscles its way to the front.
It's a diva, it's a star, it refuses to play second fiddle to anything. You put a couple of chocolate chips in an oatmeal cookie and they sit there in your mouth shouting: "I'm still big, it's the cookies that got small!".
Raisins know how to work in an ensemble. I can work with Raisins.
JZ - Mar 28, 2006 8:29:11 am PST #8376 of 10000
See? I gave everybody here an opportunity to tell me what a bad person I am and nobody did, because I fuckin' rule.
A tangent in the discussion on the many wonders of Snakes on a Plane:
ita: She's in the middle of filming on a shoestring budget (what's the etymology of that??)
P-C: In the late 1930s, Phineas T. Grantula very quickly ran out of money for his first film, Snakes in a Zoo, and he had to resort to the barter system, trading his shoestrings for location shoots. He very quickly ran out of shoestrings as well, which is when he turned to clubbing people on the street and stealing their shoes. Rather than, say, their wallets. In the end, Snakes in a Zoo was a flop anyway, opening the same weekend as Snakes Not in a Zoo, which made 800,000 nickels on opening night.
Fred Pete - Mar 29, 2006 3:46:46 am PST #8377 of 10000
Ann, that's a ferret.
I'm surprised nobody COMMed evil jimi's brilliance in Buffistechnology:
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"
§ ita § - Mar 29, 2006 4:13:55 am PST #8378 of 10000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.
I don't think Jimi wrote that--I've seen it other places on the web.
evil jimi - Mar 29, 2006 1:08:20 pm PST #8379 of 10000
Lurching from one disaster to the next.
No, I didn't write it. Sorry, should've mentioned that. It was sent to me in an email.
Fred Pete - Mar 29, 2006 4:29:13 pm PST #8380 of 10000
Ann, that's a ferret.
Original or not, it was still funny.
Spidra Webster - Mar 30, 2006 7:51:19 am PST #8381 of 10000
I wish I could just go somewhere to get flensed but none of the whaling ships near me take Medicare.
From Natter:
Kathy A: Last night's The Daily Show spent the opening segment talking about the (Israeli) election, including a report from the fresh-out-of-maternity-leave Samantha Bee, who spent some time explaining how a party with 28 seats out of 100+ wins an election.
Nilly: Well, here we keep needing explanations about how somebody can get more votes, but still lose the election in the USA, with the representatives system, so we can call it some sort of even in misunderstandings, I guess.
Kalshane - Mar 30, 2006 10:02:01 am PST #8382 of 10000
GS: If you had to choose between kicking evil in the head or the behind, which would you choose, and why?
Minsc: I'm not sure I understand the question. I have two feet, do I not? You do not take a small plate when the feast of evil welcomes seconds.
Catching up in Natter:
shrift: I'm realizing that I've never given notice at a real job. I don't know how it's done!
tommyrot: Walk into your boss's office, say, "I quit from thee, I quit from thee, I quit from thee," and then dump potato salad on his shoes.