shrift, in FanFictionII:

[C]ertain stories are like my anti-kink... I read these stories and my buttons say, "We're rethinking our buttonosity."

Funny 'cos it's not only shrift for whom this happens.

Allyson in Beep Me:

The publisher that i really loved just made an offer on my book.

yes. I'm flipping the fuck out.

JZ: I just got back from picking up more transcription from my boss. He told me about seeing the child of a Marin County mother this morning. When he asked her to describe the events that prompted her son's referral, she tossed her hair and clanked her big bead bracelets together and said, "Oh, man, it's just totally wild. I, like, don't even know where to begin, it's all so crazy." When the postdoc fellow took the boy's wrist to count his pulse, the boy asked his mother what was happening, and she said, "Relax, honey, he's sensing your chakras." Ahhh, the Bay Area.

Toddson, in Firelfly:

I've gotten a friend hooked on Firefly. Aside from loving the series, she found it reassuring that even in the distant future, you'll still be able to get a good pair of Docs.

Jessica, in Natter:

(Personally, I've always thought that polytheism makes the most sense for presupposing divine Creation. "Internal fetal development!" "Egg-laying!" "Screw you guys, I'm going to Australia!")

SA, in Natter:

Oh, Foucault. Even his name tires me.

I promise, I am only the setup. In Natter:

SA: How on earth do you open a two-liter of pop that refuses to budge when confronted with pliers?

Gudanov: Shake and heat it until it explodes. Not saying this is the best method.

msbelle: poke a hole in it.

tommyrot: Shake it up, then shoot it with a pellet gun.

Theodosia: Cut off the neck with a samurai sword.

In Bitches --

Maidengurl: Alcohol and denial - I'm just sayin.

Nicole: I'm listening. In fact, you just described my weekend.

Natterinos--

Theodosia: Now I must be ridiculously busy this morning, because my best window for grocery-shopping commences in about 45 minutes. Because the Killer Blizzard From Hell!!!1! is scheduled for tomorrow. So I won't be able to go tomorrow morning as usual, and if I linger too long today, the grocery stores will be full of panic buyers....

DXMachina: I think it's already too late for that. The media has been whipping people into a frenzy. I went shopping last night, and it was mobbed.

Anne W. : I don't remember the weather folk on the news doing this when I was younger. Is it a semi-recent phenomenon, or was I just oblivious as a child (which is entirely likely).

Megan E. : I think it's part of the growing the Culture of Fear phenomenon.

Theodosia: I think Americans are getting entirely too timid, is what I think. ::waves cane fiercely::

DXMachina: Yeah, they did a lot of the same fear mongering, at least here in New England. One of the reasons so many people died in the Blizzard of '78 is that the TV weatherpeople had been predicting massive snowstorms that turned out to be nothing every other week leading up to the storm, so that when the big storm finally hit, no one was listening to the warnings anymore.

flea: It's raining and gloomy in NC, and I think we're going to cook beef stew and homemade macacroni and cheese (great idea!) and watch luge. Nesting day!

DXMachina: Luge is good, although I do miss the days when the tracks weren't quite so good, when you'd occasionally get a luger getting launched off into space. That was always fun.

Theodosia: Not so much for the luger, though.

DXMachina: Today's lugers are a bunch of pansies.

Matt the Bruins fan: Well, there is the two man luge...

In THE TIME FOR PANIC IS NOW! DEATH SNOW FROM ABOVE!!!1! news, my only skid driving home in the snow last night was when I had to brake suddenly for the moron who ran across the highway in front of me on I-55. Unless he was fleeing from a snow-inspired massacre in the Stuckey's that wasn't apparent from the highway, dude was just too stupid to live.

Cindy: I just got an email from our associate pastor, letting me know tomorrow's morning services have been called off on account of the snow storm. Mind you, this is New England, and not one flake has fallen.

I ought to get a cookie for refraining from sending my first response: "Oh ye of little faith."