In Natter:

Sue: I went to an information session at work where the facilitator described performance evaluations as a "transformative experience." My head did near explode.

Nutty: Well, they've been known to transform one from an employee to a former employee. But, yeah. I've never seen God while explaining that deadlines are more like guidelines in my view.

Lee, in Natter on her plans for the weekend:

First, these people I met on the internet are coming to stay with me. Assuming they aren't axe murderers, I am going to the Chiro, buying a pony or two, going to a book reading, maybe doing something fun with the internet people, going to the flea market, buying pie, going to itabobita's to see her new place and steal her boxes, having Kat and Lori come over to get camping stuff and my computer and whatever else I can palm off on them, doing laundry, and packing.

If they are axe murderers, of course, my to do list is a lot shorter.

Nobody got this one?

In Fanfiction:

Nutty: I think you have to have a very good sense of humor to be a linguist.

amych: It's self-selecting. If you have a sense of humor, you become a linguist. If not, you write cranky letters to the editor about these kids today and how they don't teach proper English in the schools anymore.

It's self-selecting. If you have a sense of humor, you become a linguist. If not, you write cranky letters to the editor about these kids today and how they don't teach proper English in the schools anymore

HA! My dad is both.

sarameg: I just want everyone to get aloooong and be friendly and be convinced by me.

Vonnie K recaps a bad show in Boxed Set:

and the girlfriend just stands in front of him, yelling and screaming "Don't! Don't!" instead of running, like, OMG, the stupid, it burns!

Tommyrot in Boxed Set:

Man-squito
He's the man, the man with the proboscis touch
A mosquito's touch, such a cold skeeter
Beckons you to enter his tent of sin
But don't go in.

Annoying buzzing he will pour in your ear
But his wings can't disguise what you fear
For a golden girl knows when he's probosced her
It's the probosc of death from

Man-squito
Pretty girl beware of his anticoagulant
It'll make you itch

I think this was my first COMMed filk. But I should point out that beth b had the original idea:

now I am going around the house singing " mr. Man - squito.." to the tune of goldfinger....

The rest, as they say, wrote itself....

Ginger: Maria's dress has caused me to wonder whether a bride can be too beautiful. Suppose the caterers drop things? The men start an impromptu auction to see if they can buy her away from DF? The women faint from jealousy? It could be ugly.

In Firefly, a conversation about zombie-preparedness:

Matt: Would a sledgehammer be the best weapon to have for a zombie attack, assuming limited/nonexistent supplies of handgun ammo?

tommyrot: It depends on how fast the zombies are at evading attack. If they're really slow, then a sledgehammer would work well. If not, then I think some sort of sword (used for decapitation) would work better. Maybe a Samurai sword?

Matt: Hmmm. I frankly wouldn't be very confident of being able to decapitate a standing opponent very easily, particularly if the opponent was fast-moving.

brenda: Grenade.

Nutty: But, you can only use a grenade once. I am thinking, something like a long-handled broom, with something spiky on the end, to make the zombies keep clear of my personal bubble. Because, depending on the Rules of Zombiedom, just one touch could be the thing that turns you undead.

Maybe one of those Asterisk-on-a-Chain dealies, like the Witch-king had. What are those?

ita: Are you thinking of the morning star flail?

Nutty: That was what I had in mind. Although, looking at it, I wonder how you ensure that the asterisk part, upon gouging into zombie body, does not get stuck upon same and render the weapon immediately useless.

But maybe that is a problem with all stabby weapons, huh?

tommyrot: I just wanna walk onto the train in the morning carrying one of those, with a crazy look in my eyes....

ita: The advantage to using it on zombies is that they're a bit looser than the not-ever-dead. Bits come off much more easily.

In more seriousness, in a knife fight it's very easy to get cut and not even know it until later. So the weapon getting stuck hasn't proved to be an overriding consideration.

Nutty: I think if you did not notice you'd been smacked by a giant steel asterisk, you would have to be a zombie.

But, point taken. Just because I can inevitably get a knife stuck in a carrot while trying to chop said carrot does not mean that this is inevitable for everyone under all circumstances.

But, when the carrots attack, don't let me be the one with the knife.