Emily in Fanfic

I recently read a story with very strange syntax. I'd say it was someone imposing the syntax of their native language on their imperfect English, except that I learned from my Human Development teacher that only one group uses Verb-Object-Subject, and that group consists entirely of Yoda.

Sue, in Natter

I am just the queen of posting in the wrong thread, putting in wrong links, and making crazy typos lately. I think my brain and fingers need to be sent for relationship counselling.

Em and P-C in Natter:

Emily: I kind of had to pick it up through osmosis (or diffusion, since isn't osmosis only for water?).

P-C Yes, and that always bugged me. "I'm learning through osmosis." WELL CLEARLY YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LEARNED WHAT THE FUCK OSMOSIS IS.

Context be damned.

erikaj in Buffista Fic:

If you pull it too much, you could go blind, Victor. Ok, if that was one of my first thoughts of the morning, it must be time to write Munch again soon. Sorry.

I have not COMMed anyone in a while, so let's add this gem from Natter:

Jesse:

Hey just because most (X) have (y characteristic) doesn't mean that most people with (y characteristic) are going to be (X)!

Emily:

It's true. I have beautiful silver nails, but not all people with beautiful silver nails are going to be me.

Deb Grabien:

Damn, the model with the feather buttplug has beautiful thighs.

Betsy H-P, in Natter:

When nipples are outlawed, only outlaws will have nipples.

Deena: My pelvis is unstable.

Steph L: I'm picturing your pelvis stomping off to its room, shouting "I HATE YOU WHY DON'T YOU JUST LET ME GET A TATTOO EVERYONE ELSE HAS ONE I HATE YOU SO MUCH!", slamming the door, and then weeping.

Victor, in the Fanfic thread:

Have you been to Ren Faire? It's bloody fan fic walking.

context be damned...

Jen in Bitches:

You ate Lee for breakfast? Damn. Suddenly my bowl of Grape-Nuts seems so boring.