(Trimmed, regretfully, because I decided that I couldn't really bring the whole damned thread.)

Comparative Theology, Buffista-style (in Firefly)

Betsy Hanes Perry Hey, there's a question: Can you only commit heresy if you're a member of the group in question? I mean, for instance, if I believe that Muhammad was God rather than a prophet, I'm a Christian heretic, but I'm not a Moslem heretic, right?

billytea : You're a Muslim heretic with bells on and all the trimmings. Islam believes very firmly that Muhammad was nothing but a man. (The greatest of the prophets, but still a man.)

Betsy Hanes Perry No. I'm absolutely WRONG by Muslim standards, I don't doubt that. The question is, can they consider me a heretic if I was never a Muslim in the first place?

Nutty : I think you can only be a heretic in the religion in which you claim membership. Cause, I mean, if I got excommunicated by the United Church of Twinkie Worshippers, I wouldn't give a shit, right? But if I were a member of the Church, and then got excommunicated, I would be devastated.

And also hungry.

Then again, if the United Church of Twinkie Worshippers decided to burn me at the stake, it wouldn't matter whether I was a believer or not. I would still be crispy and dead.

sarameg - in Angel (but come on, it's hardly spoilery)...

Don't like seventies hair. Demonic. Must be vanquished. Need a seventies hair slayer. Armed with clippers and scissors.

Rio in Natter:

I like my doughnuts like I like my men.

HOT and NOW.

Jacqueline Zahas on No. Cal. "culture":

It actually just occurred to me a couple of nights ago what a weird place the Bay Area is, where you can go into any ratty-ass little crack-mart corner market in any grubby neighborhood, looking for booze, and come out with a bottle of very nice wine.

victor:

I've always thought we should refer to the govenor as the "Guber."

billytea:

You just want to be able to say things like "Like any of that's enough to fight the Dark Guber-- nator."

Betsy, in Literary:

I used to read Sheri Tepper, but I had to give it up when the dents in my skull from her sledgehammer interfered with the fit of my hat.

Nutty, following up the donut talk:

Um, so I like my men dense, cakey and with coffee?

I like my men like I like my coffee: hot, sweet, and making me all awake inside. Also it's nice if their ingredients come from the grocery store.

Nutty: "Heaven knows, when I lived in Virginia, I got tracts in the mail about how Bill Clinton was murdering people and worshipping Satan."

Ted R: In NYC that's just called going to church. Though finding a virgin to sacrifice is problematic, and many of us cheat and settle for someone who is simply bad in bed.

[edited for attribution]

The first line was Nutty's.

Nutty: Boobies are birds with blue feet.

Billytea: Only the blue-footed variety. Aside from common or garden variety feet, there are also red-footed boobies. Tragically, this can lead to confusion within the booby community. Come mating time, you don't want to find you've shacked up with some strange booby. Thus, the courtship dance of the blue-footed booby (and if ever you get a chance to watch this, do) involves the male waddling up the female, turning side on, and hoisting up his foot as far as he can to allow her a thorough inspection - generally flapping madly to maintain his balance in the process. Then he turns around to present the other side, just in case the first one was just a fluke (ba dum). If he does all this without tripping, then he just might get some action.

You have to wonder if there was some incident in their past that led to fears of the red-footed boobies stealing in and ravishing their women. I like to think so, anyway.

[And I have nooooooo idea whether he's pulling our (blue) legs, either.]

[Attribution added]