edit: dammit, this is what I get for trying to provide context.

shakes not-so-wee fist at Deena, but in a loving manner

In Bitches. Debet made me snerk.

Daniel Jensen: "Then you wake up at the high school level and find out that the illiteracy level of our children are appalling." —George W. Bush, Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004

DebetEsse: I often find that I wake up at the High School level. Sleepy, belligerent, and unable to process thoughts higher than the bottom level or two of Mazlow's Heirarchy of Needs.

As for the rest of it, all I can figure is that we have split-level illiteracy. Don't worry, I'm going to sleep now. It won't get worse.

KristinT: I wake up almost every morning at the high school level. Like right now, for example, when one of my junior...yes, junior, as in 16 years old...students has climbed under a table in the corner, pulled a recycling bin in front of him and started wailing, "She told me to curl up in the corner and diiiiiiiiie.....so here I am and I'm gonna cryyyyyyy..." Did Mazlow have a stepstool to reach the bottom level? I may need it.

Raquel, in LotR discussing the RotK Special Edition tchotchke:

Minas Tirith opens up and you can store stuff inside? Huh. For some reason that wasn't the first use that sprang to my mind. (The first involved a Denethor action figure, some lighter fluid, and a match).

Ginger in Bitches, during a flurry of school fight songs--

I wonder if the school that has the banana slug as a mascot has a song. We could write one for them:

Banana slug, banana slug
Into ugly you put the ugh
Banana slug, when you have time
Cover the other team with slime.

deb: It has been remarked that the Tact Fairy was not invited to my christening.

In Natter:

NoiseDesign: The sappy music on Bush's site makes me want to take my own life.

Gudanov: And you're not a Bush supporter. It's a campaign strategy.

The Lutheran discussion returns with bonus slaughter of the innocent:

Deb G:

I have no Lutherans in my sink. I murdered them all, a la the de Valois Massacre of the Heugenots. I poured Clorox Cleanser with Bleach on all their tiny little germy heads, and listened to them scream, and I spared none of them.

Fear me.

I killed them all too, I scalded them with hot water and scoured them with Ajax.

Bleach them all, and God will know his own.

Le Empresse, in Les Bitches

There's a chick in my corporate office who likes to email me whenever I have made a typo and be really condescending. I asked Emily to smite her. MM had this to say.

Ah. The Smiting of the Condescending Wank-person. Just like in Exegesis 19:35 hut hut:

35 And verily didst the Lord speak unto Herbert and the Lord did say:

36 "Thou hast cast aspersions on My typing too much. Shall I not, now, cast thine soul unto Perdition? Seek you now your salvateon?"

37 And Herbert didst answer his Lord saying: "Lord...'salvation' is spelled with an 'i', not an 'e'."

38 And the Lord did send down lightnings to slap Herbert as though he were a bitch.

39 And the Lord spake: "Herbert, thou bring shame unto your father's house. For thou art a wanker."

40 And Herbert did weep as a little girl.

Daniel Jensen in Bitches:

I miss Coca Cola before HFCS, and in nearly indestructible Georgia Green bottles with a bottle cap that you needed an opener to uncork, chilled to 34 degrees in a vending machine where you wrench them out of a slot and listen to the rest of the bottles in the machine clank into position.

We're going to miss Raquel a lot:

The only good thing I can think of to say about the Star Wars re-work is that Chewie Finally Gets a Damn Medal.

Otherwise, I'm boggled as to why Lucas thought it made more sense to make two new movies that don't match the canon of the existing movies and then redact the existing movies even though the entire population of the world has already seen them at least once, than to make the two new movies fit the story as already told.

It's like he works at my office or something.