My God...blushing now.

In Natter, I hurt myself laughing at the Buffista brainstorming session for Lilty Cash, who is experiencing the weirdness of being asked to hide the fact her boss has a color copier:

Ginger:

Having to lie about the existence of a color copier is both demeaning and bizarre, an unfortunate combination. Perhaps you should just tell people, "My boss just wiggled her nose and color copies appeared."

tommyrot:

Don't lie. Just do what the US Navy does when people inquire whether a specific ship carries nuclear weapons:

"I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of a color copier in our office."

ita:

Why don't you suggest a little tip cup next to it? Or maybe when people say "But I saw the colour copy!" insist that it's not colour.

Lilty Cash:

Or I could go Fat Tony style: "What's an office?"

Fred Pete:

"These are not the color copies you seek."

Lilty Cash:

Or when people ask, I can look sad, say "I does it meself, sir", and pull a box of colored pencils our of my back pocket.

I'm too gronked to laugh, but I love time-travel humor:

Lilty Cash:

OR a time machine that TAKES you to the secret copier! We get rid of the color copier, and anytime we need something copied, we get into the time machine, go back to BEFORE we got rid of it, make our copies, then come back to the here and now!!!!

I really need a new job.

tommyrot:

But what if you go back in time and make copies and use up the last of the toner and as a result your father is unable to make the copies of his resume that gets him the job where he meets your mom and as a result you are never born?

(Run-on sentences have their place.)

Lilty Cash:

But you SEE the color copying me of the past would simply CHANGE the toner should it need changing, no doubt thinking it odd that the toner should go so quickly. No, the real issue would be if my file-cabinet time machine's flux capacitor malfunctioned while I was in the office-of-the-past, causing me to SEE my father photocopying the resume to get the job to win my mom to make me born, thus disturbing the time/space continuum and tearing apart the fabric of the universe!

I can run-on too.

Gudanov joins the fun:

The dangers of time travel are overrated. I mean I'm careful when traveling to the past, but the world doesn't end if you step on somebody's foot or something. Just yesterday, I took a trip to a few years back in Florida and accidently bumped down a guy carrying a bunch of punch cards, and hey, no big effect. Anyhow, what's up with all the Iraq news and has President Gore had a press conference about it yet?

Polter-Cow, on his childhood:

You had a girlfriend in grade 6? I thought the vagina was the space between breasts in grade 6.

Okay, I honestly don't remember whether I still thought that at grade 6. But I did at one point. Let me tell you, it made comprehending sex rather difficult.

billytea: Have fun, Gus! The Swiss franc is the most overvalued currency in the world!

Gud, in Bitches:

I'm now using 0% of my Yahoo! mailbox. In theory I could have an infinitely times as much e-mail as I currently have. (Spammers, please ignore this post.)

The Empress:

I rec'd an email today that had the signature, "COURAGE is FEAR that has said it's prayers." So, I am thinking of other things that could be FEAR in another situation.

ANGER is FEAR that you were wrong about that one thing.

SADNESS is FEAR that has not been cleaned in a while.

APPREHENSION is FEAR that the chute won't open.

CONCEIT is FEAR that you are in fact, ugly.

Normally I'm opposed to COMMing more than a few posts at a time, but this is worth it:

Lilty Cash:

The internet has allowed me to see Rasputin's wang. Whoever would have guessed it.

billytea:

Whoever would have wanted to?

"Tsarina, there is a Russian Orthodox tripod who wishes to see you."

Lilty Cash:

And, it is just me, or was there some controversy as to whether he'd actually died?

ita:

Well, pretty sure he wishes he had.

Jessica:

If he's a lurker, I'm sure by now he's died of embarrasment.

amych:

Rasputin supports me in email!

KristinT:

Well with 11 inches, I imagine he could support a few of us.

billytea scooped me, but as I have no qualms about COMMing multiple posts (or, in fact, COMMing myself if necessary for set-up), I immortalize the Puns of Natter:

Polter-Cow:

Did anyone else pronounce "ln" "line" in their head?

billytea:

I always spell it out: "L - N". Or occasionally I'll say log, because around here it's given that log means the natural log.

tommyrot:

As it should be.

Gudanov:

It's only natural.

tommyrot:

Your statement is baseless.

Or something.

Polter-Cow:

MATH PUN MAYHEM!!!

ita:

This topic is much too complex for me.

tommyrot:

Don't be irrational.

Nilly:

When the puns are about math, does it mean that the people who are more language-inclined than mathematically-inclined are able to enjoy them?

DXMachina:

I give them an e for effort, though.

ita:

No, I think it's still a pretty divisive topic, subtracting from the enjoyment people usually associate with natter.

Gudanov:

I'm not sure I'm primed up to make a perfect pun with numbers.

tommyrot:

I'm reaching my limit of this--it's all so derivative.

Gudanov:

But puns are integral to the Natter thread. It's what differentiates the Natter thread from other natterish threads.

ita:

We need to integrate it into the flow of conversation better, because sum of us are being excluded from the set.

KristinT:

Does that mean we non-math types should stop being so negative about it??

<the English teacher looks around brightly, looking for praise for her lame attempt to participate>

Gudanov:

It was a very positive addition.

sarameg:

Can I get some sig-ma?

I'm really and heartily sorry and I promise never to do it again.

Gudanov:

We'll try to add some up to carry over to you.

Dana:

I really think this topic might be too divisive.

(After which the conversation shifted to, as described above, Rasputin's giant penis.)