Buffy ,'Lies My Parents Told Me'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
I'm partly to blame (with Cindy) for the following. Erika in Bitches, no context required.
Bitches, help me, thanks to the George Harrison tribute, I've got the "Lumberjack song" on a continuous loop now. It was funny at first, but all things must pass, right?
From Heather Alayne, in Natter 23, explaining why a happily married couple may want separate beds on occasion.
Oh...Sometimes you do. Usually it's when you haven't had a good night's sleep in about a week and he keeps snoring despite your repeated suggestion that he buy those nose strip thingies, which he won't because he thinks they make him look stupid, and you're thinking, but not actually saying, "Honey you passed my dad a joint at your bachelor party. That ship has kinda sailed."
But, y'know, YMarriageMV.
Tim Minear:
Just want to say I keep seeing that quotes are lifted from me here by journalists. I encourage this. But if any journalists are reading this:
I. NEVER. WORKED. ON. BUFFY.
Thank you for your time.
(I did, however, create "Gilligan's Island.")
That was followed by Astarte:
Like that'll ever fly, Tim.
"What's that Professor?"
"A scythe. Careful with ..."
Swoosh!!!
"Et too, little buddy?"
I can't believe nobody beat me!
Gudanov:
A blipvert is that little blob of fast cuts between scenes that some shows have.
I.E.
Wes: What's wrong with your hair Angel. It...it's....flat!
(Blipvert) Cut to helicopter view of L.A. for half a second. Cut to Angel's comb for half a second. Cut to view of a building of some sort for half a second. Cut to view of ice-skating monkey for half a second. Cut to time lapse view of L.A. traffic for half a second. (End Blipvert)
Villian Guy: Were you sucessful my minion?
Minion: Yes we have his mousse.
Villian Guy: Bwah ha ha ha ha. He is powerless now. Send in the demonic chickens.
Tim Minear on KLBC radio (but quoted in Minearverse , so fair game?) describing the movie version of Starship Troopers:
"blasphemous pooing on the grave of Robert Heinlein"
Why you should read Buffistechnology, or The Networks' Solution To Tivo:
Gudanov:
The solution is obviously more product placement. e.g.:
From the new Law & Order: SUV.
Ed: There's the suspect. Let's follow him.
Sandy: Is that a new for 2005 Dodge Durango he's driving?
Ed: That's right. It has a HEMI engine with 340 horsepower so it won't be easy to keep up if he spots us.
Sandy: Maybe he'll be so comfortable in the optional leather interior that he won't notice us following him in our GMC Envoy.
Ed: Looks like he spotted us. Here put my yummy and satisfying can of Vanilla Coke in one of those convient cupholders with removable rubber insert for easy cleaning.
F2F Pub Ninjas
NoiseDesign: t Throws real darts into the corner
DXMachina: t Bats darts back at ND with a pool cue...
Tommyrot:
I want something dramatic to happen at the Rice hearing. Like Condi ripping off her mask to reveal her horrible alien visage and exclaiming, "Foolish humans! I, commander Xorg of the Theliqians, have infiltrated the government of your most powerful nation to weaken your already puny defenses! Our space armada is gathering above your planet! Ah ha ha ha ha!"
Somebody tell me if this happens, 'kay?
Ginger in Bitches:
Buffista mom's first question about a birthing center: "Does it have Internet access?"