Lysana and Cass in Bitches

Lysana:

Been to porn shop.

Bought porn.

Been to porno theater.

Been to porno drive-in.

Been to topless bar.

Been to strip club.

Posted raunchy pictures of myself to locked LiveJournal posts.

Lysana:

And... killed the thread.

Cass :

I think everyone ran over to LiveJournal.

Elena, in Buffy Quotables, with the collusion of many voters and the able assistance of several excellent writers:

Oz
"The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that? You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen. So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped? Like, is the hippo going, "Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And you know, the monkey's just, "I mock you with my monkey pants!" And then there's a big coup in the zoo."

Snyder
"Kids today need discipline. That's an unpopular word these days, 'discipline'. I know Principal Flutie would have said, 'Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.' That's the kind of woolly-headed, liberal thinking that leads to being eaten."

Riley
"Seriously? That's . . a good day? Well, there you go. Even when he's good he's all Mister... Billowy Coat King of Pain and girls really--"

Dru
"My mummy used to sing me to sleep at night. 'Run and catch, The lamb is caught in the blackberry patch.' She had the sweetest voice. What will your mummy sing when they find your body?"

Cordy
"Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass."

Mayor Wilkins
"There's more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that's factually true."

Anya
"I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why."

Written or Drawn

Headstone reading

BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS

1981-2001

BELOVED SISTER

DEVOTED FRIEND

SHE SAVED THE WORLD

A LOT

Wesley
"Let's synchronize our watches. I have exactly eleven six... (He stops when he notices Buffy, Willow and Angel holding up their wrists, illustrating that none are wearing watches.) Yes. Typical."

Jenny Calendar
"I know our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century. With three whole years to spare!"

Andrew
"In my plan, we are beltless."

Jonathan
"I don't deserve this. I wasn't even that evil."

Angel(us)
"She made me feel like a human being. That's not the kind of thing you just forgive."

Joyce
"I have tried to march in the 'Slayer Pride' parade, but... I don't want you to die."

Tara
"No. And yes. It's always sudden."

Minor Not-so-evil Folk
Principal Flutie - "Welcome to Sunnydale! A clean slate, Buffy, that's what you get here. What's past is past. We're not interested in what it says on a piece of paper, even if it says... (reads) Whoa."

Buffy-bot
"Say, look at you. You look just like me! We're very pretty."

Faith
"When are ya gonna get this, B? Life for a Slayer is very simple: want... take... have."

Xander
"I like the quiet."

Dawn
"Is this blood? This is blood, isn't it? It can't be me. I'm not a Key. I'm not a thing. What am I? Am I real? Am I anything?"

Minor Evil Folk
Ethan - "I've really got to learn to just do the damage and get out of town. It's the stay and gloat — gets me every time."

Willow
"Bored now."

Spike
"You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other until it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood -- blood screaming inside you to work its will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."

Giles
"Yes, it's terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns or black hats, and, uh, we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after."

Buffy
"I walk. I talk. I shop. I sneeze. I'm gonna be a fireman when the floods roll back. There's trees in the desert since you moved out. And I don't sleep on a bed of bones. Now give me back my friends."

The Mutant Enemy Monster
"Grr. Argh."

Gud in Natter. It's funny metabait!

Now if I were a real dork I'd go through COMM and figure out how many of my COMM bait posts were there compared to just regular postings.

Anyhow, it turns out that of 32 COMMs only 3 were posts that I thought might make it. A good number of COMMs were setups for others so maybe they should be considered COMM assists rather than actual COMMs.

In Bitches

Erika j: Why am I taking crap from Mr. Most Likely to Get Off At Sally Beauty Supply? Why?

Aw...Hec, I tease from affection, right? Trudy, I don't know what to say...this feels like a very "You have done well, Grasshopper," moment.

Out-of-context Natter:

sarameg: My hate knows no grammar.

In Natter,

Amych: I was once fired in mid-sentence. "Do you have the file for .... it just isn't working out."

I mean, yeah, you know when you're temping that they can and will dump you at any time, but really, people! At least get to a paragraph break!

The incomparable Jilli, in Bitches:

Things I Have Learned from Friends in the Kink Scene: do not make the mistake of thinking those mini claw clip hair accessories can be substituted for nipple clamps. Apparently that was not the sort of sensation they were looking for.

Deena in Bitches:

I have fulfilled my purpose, already! I have brought laughter (I tried for the sunshine but it was already booked on the other coast, sorry). I can now retire to my nap in righteousness. Oh joyous day, etc.

I'd finish that, but I have no idea how to spell callou callay.

Shrift in Natter:

In my last review, my manager had written something about needing to challenge me more. I wanted to write underneath, "Pay me more money, and you won't catch me surfing Monster for a less stressful and monotonous job that better utilizes my skill-set, boss."