Mayor ,'Lies My Parents Told Me'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
And another zinger in Bitches, this time from Teppy.
Steph L.: The Chinese place gave me 3 fortune cookies with my order. Here is what they told me:
"You are protected by silent love and friendship near you."
"Your mind is creative, original, and alert."
"You have a kind and generous heart."
Those aren't fortunes, damn it! Fortunes *fortell* something! These were Platitude Cookies.
From Angel (nonspoilery), Matt TBF is inspired:
Speaking of coincidences, what would happen if you crossed "Phases" with "Inca Mummy Girl" and had Kane and Ampata meet up? Behold:
He's a gun-slinging devious dog-catcher looking for 'the Big One.' She's a sarcastic Bolivian schoolgirl from beyond the grave They fight crime!
More fun—the Barney Frank & Lara Croft show:
He's a scrappy gay senator in drag. She's a strong-willed cigar-chomping archaeologist with only herself to blame. They fight crime!
Look, it's the Reagans!
He's a benighted overambitious househusband whom everyone believes is mad. She's an enchanted wisecracking former first lady from a secret island of warrior women. They fight crime!
The Minearverse veers slightly into Movies and TV and Stuff That Has Changed Our Lives:
P.M. Marcontell:
I've wasted many hours examining Tango and Cash from a queer studies perspective.
It did not, however, change my life or help me find my spiritual path. It just made me giggle at all the subtext with its hand down the pants of the text.
Burrell:
I think I'm a text junkie. Gimme a text, I want to examine it. Gimme an excellent text, I want to crawl inside it and map its topography from the inside out.
In Minearverse:
Scrutinizer
Most importantly, Tim Minear, once is okay, but if you keep teasing us with kisses that almost but don't quite happen, I'm going to install you in the Chris Carter Feckless Audience Manipulation Hall of Shame.
Matt the Bruins Fan
Remember, you're talking to the guy that wrote Angel flinging Darla through a French door and trying to stake her as foreplay. I wouldn't worry overmuch about predictable romantic comedy cliches.
JessPMoon in Natter during a discussion about martial arts about "the watered-down, American-gym version of t'ai chi"
I don't count tai chi because none of the classes I've ever taken have presented it as a martial art in anything but theory. The only attacker I'd ever be able to fend off using it would be one who was moving reeeaaaaaaaal sloooooooow, and carrying a boom box playing relaxing waterfall sounds.
Natter:
Jess PMoon: Though really, I think we should let hamsters vote, purely for the cuteness factor of them crawling around on the voting machine, pushing the levers with their little hamster noses
For the visual.
Since no one else posted this, Aimee with the setup, Miracleman with the riff. Is it any wonder they are married?
On the idea of Orlando Bloom as James Bond:
Maybe Jessica Simpson would be the new Bond Girl.
"Bond. James Bond."
"Like Bond-O?"
"Excuse me?"
"Are you a mechanic?"
"No, I'm...well, I can't tell you what I..."
"Is that water?
"No, it's a martini. Shaken, not stirred."
"With lemon juice?"
"What?"
"Aren't they made with lemon juice?"
"No, they're made with vermouth and..."
"I went skiing in Vermouth once. Nick wasn't very good at it."
"You...I...WHAT?!"
"Is caviar made with snails?"
**ZORT!**
"Dizzy bim."
Jess PMoon in Natter:
I can never tell who's on the phone and who's talking to themselves. "Schizophrenic or hands-free-cell-phone?" is the new "Gay or Eurotrash?"
Curse you wee Dana!
Beat me to it!