connie neil in Bitches, for the visual and the last line:

I have a sweet Hubby. Two days ago, when the latest snow began to fall, he had a neighbor build a snowman for me. See, several years ago--the last time we had real snow--I discovered the joys of dismembering snowmen with a sword. Ever see a hand and a half broadsword decapitate a frozen snowman? Makes a neat crunching noise, and the neighbors cross the street to go past your house.

The past two days I've been too tired when I got home from work to dismember Mr. Snowman. But Hubby was determined that I give Sting a proper workout. So, tonight, in the spirit of "I don't have to work tomorrow!" I pulled Sting off its wallhanger and said, "There's a snowman in the front yard that needs decapitating." Hubby, who has been in bed a lot dealing with the pain of surgery recuperation, blinked and said, "Not before I get my shoes on." "Then best get moving."

Mr. Snowman was a little soft, but Sting is a sweet blade to swing. It's a tad light, but it's balanced beautifully for my hand and it slices very nicely through blocks of snow. Being short, you can turn it in the air quickly and get some nice one-two combinations. Need more snowmen.

Fay:

I could really get into this whole Goddess thing, actually. I like the idea of being a Heavenly Body. My Grandmother's always urging me to treat my body like a temple; in this instance, I'm guessing that would mean I should let all my worshippers come inside and have epiphanies. Although I don't think that's quite what Nana meant. Bless her.

In Natter...

Theodosia:

I have to pack. Somebody tell me to pack, okay?

kat perez:

A little inspiration, courtesy of the Village People:

P-A-C-K
It's fun to put all your
Clothing away
You can get organized
Roll your socks up in balls
You'll be able to fit it all

P-A-C-K
You'd better do it right now
Don't delay
May your suitcases hold
All the jackets you fold
And be very easy to load

P-A-C-K

From Natter a couple days back:

Rick V.: Lutefisk. The piece of cod that passeth all understanding.

The eternal question in LotR

Sean: I know I'd be more cocky when riding a giant elephant, though I'd worry if I saw a girlie elf-dude anywhere on the battlefield.

ita: He was NOT girlie.

Sean: Whoops, sorry...
Metrosexual elf-dude.

Plei: You can't be a metrosexual when you're crushing on the King to Be and accepting the marriage proposal of your dwarven lovemuffin.
IJS.
Big *gay* elf-dude, but not girly.

Deena brings in the profound (rather than the funny), in Bitches:

When my parents went to Israel, they visited the Wailing Wall. They said the physical presence of the place was intense, the tangibility of the prayers fluttering out of the wall, the people. The expression of faith and the strength of the experience inspired awe.

Sometimes, when we all vibe, I'm reminded of their description of that experience, and I imagine this as the somewhat tangible expression of our own version of the wailing wall, with our good wishes, hopes and prayers, and it seems very powerful to me.

Teppy vents in Bitches:

Steph: Though they feed the dogs twice a day, which I have *never* heard of, and those dogs could stand to skip a meal.

No more Teppy dogsitter. No mas.

Gudanov: I feed my dogs twice a day. It happens.

Steph: See, that's the problem with this board -- as soon as someone grumbles, "Boy, juggling underwater sure is weird," someone else invariably comes along and says "*I* juggle underwater, and it's fucking great!"

Gudanov: Well, I don't juggle.

Sean K: You got a problem with underwater juggling, Tep?

NoiseDesign: <fetches scuba gear>

Steph: See, I knew it! All you underwater jugglers -- freaks, the lot of you!

More Bitches:

NoiseDesign: Ooops, didn't mean to kill the thread.

mustusepowersforgoodmustusepowersforgoodmustusepowersforgood

Sean K: Nice one, ND...

NoiseDesign: I'm a big part of the reason Buffistas can't have nice things.

Moonlit helping out Allyson in Natter:

How to give a cat a pill

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw away soggy pill.

4. Take new pill from pack, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse or friend in to help.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in a large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with cat's head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of a drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink a beer to take away the taste. Apply Band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from the carpet with soap and water.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, so as to leave the head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check date of last tetanus jab. Apply whisky compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Ring fire brigade to retrieve the fucking cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of the dining table. Find heavy pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertical and pour 2 pints of water down cat's throat to wash down pill.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the A&E, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill from your eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order a new table.

15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect the mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see whether they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

In Firefly:

Gleebo: God would be totally crappy as Numfar as well.

tommyrot: God! Do the dance of Omniscient Omnipotence!"

See? Wouldn't work.

Aimée: Sure it would. It looks like the electric slide.