'Life of the Party'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
The Empress, in Bitches:
I give until Friday for the dillweed to get the itemized list and refund to us. After that:
IN PLACE OF THE DARK LANDLORD YOU WOULD HAVE AN EMPRESS! NOT DARK BUT BEAUTIFUL AND TERRIBLE AS THE CEMENT ANIMAL CHAIRS, TRECHEROUS AS THE WATER PRESSURE, STRONGER THAN THE FOUNDATIONS OF YOUR SHIT ASS APARTMENT BUILDING! ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND PAY ME MY FUCKING DEPOSIT!
Phill in Bitches:
I got an espresso machine for my birfday. I'm so wired that I can vibrate faster than electrons on PCP
Jacqueline Zahas: They're about the sloppiest, most lackadaisical, neglectful idiotic don't-deserve-to-own-property landlords (not evil, just criminally stupid and lazy) in the state of California.
Steph L.: And this is the apartment you've been pimping to me?
Jacqueline Zahas: Well, the one I was pimping before I found out the building might be condemned.
Aerating my diet coke in Bitches:
deborah grabien: me and trainwrecks, NSM. I've already got the Bush Adminstration - Paris Hilton? Don't think so.
Nattering on ita's no-good, horrible, terrible, really bad day.
Nilly:
To: ita's day
You'd better stop attacking ita, and start behaving yourself. She could make you yesterday, tomorrow or next month with her pinky, so be careful.
Signed, I'm from your future, so I know better than you.
Betsy, on sperm donors:
If you had a catalog, you'd certainly shop as if it were Crate and Barrel.
Now I'm imagining the fathers you'd get from catalogs.
Ikea: Schmööpy. High-grade veneers, superficially flashy, cheap. You will give birth to a collection of body parts, which you will then assemble into a baby. Two years down the pike, your baby will lose an important screw and fall apart.
Restoration Hardware: Bradley Adams Cabot. Tall, slim, blue-eyed. Wears a smoking jacket and waves a martini as he talks, slopping gin everywhere. Very, very expensive. Your baby will be by far the handsomest in the nursery, but will be the only toddler in Pre-Harvard Preschool, who complains to his teacher that things used to be much better run. At adolescence, your baby will hate you for not being Nick and Nora Charles.
Pottery Barn: Jeremy Ryan. Tall, athletic, with warm brown eyes and an inviting smile. Probably gay. Not as expensive as Bradley, but definitely not cheap. Your baby will have a hint of the post-modern; later in life, there will be fights over the inadequate color-coordination of the mother, father, and child.
Gudanov, in Natter, asking for clarification on a discussion of The Office:
I was just going to ask "What is The Office?", but then that made me think about the promos for the first Matrix movie. You know, "What is The Matrix?", and that seemed like a silly comparison. What does being put into a small pod, having the energy sucked out of you, and living in an unreal world have to do with working in an office?
Cass: the baby panda are dead
Phill: But soon it shall rise! An unholy but adorable creature, shambling through the night in quest of bwaiiiiinnnns.
Jesse , on deciphering the sperm donor catalog codes.
"Wholesome looking" to me just reads as code for white. Not that helpful, unless you were afraid he might be purple, due to being Welch.
Matt, on certain un-alluded-to plot developments on Angel:
That mismatch makes it very difficult to immerse myself in the show, whereas the other fantastic elements (demons, vampires, the notion that everyone falls in love with Fred) don't. OK, maybe one of those is likewise off-putting.