In Natter 14

Jesse: OK, now I'm going to sneak away from my post and walk into the woods to find someplace I can smoke a cigarette without kids around....

Madrigal: Oh no, Jesse is going to single-handedly undo all those years of DARE training. They'll spy her and realize that the cool kids do inhale and have to go on patches when it's time to go back to school because there's just too much time between recess breaks to get in a quick smoke. Maybe they can get nicotine patches with cartoon characters on them. Sponge-Bob Craving-Stopper. Yu-Gi-Don't-Smoke. No Nic At Nite.

More Madrigal:

I'm picturing them handing out those little comment cards to the people of Iraq asking them to rate every aspect of the invasion from speed to inconvenience to aesthetics of the bombs and soldiers' uniforms and there'd be space on the back to add their own ideas for making it better in the future.

Madrigal yet again:

Have you ever wondered if the reason we haven't had any contact from aliens is because they've been getting tons of our spam but they're perfectly happy with the size of genitalia, so they feel no need to reply, and think maybe we're too insecure to try a relationship just now, especially one with inter-species problems?

Threepeat! Whoo!

In Bitches -

Elena - Religion baffles me.

Betsy - You should just treat religion the way I treat sports -- weird stuff that seems to make other people happy for some reason.

erika - That is the way I treat both religion and sports. If some archeologist can find out Jesus had a soccer ball, my approach will have some meaning.

DX - Jesus saves... But Esposito scores on the rebound!

In Un-American......

Kassto: But then, you can be anyone on the internet. I could be an 18-month-old pomeranian pup.

brenda m: In which case, let me be the first to complement you on your typing.

Elena:

Elena's eyes kaleidoscoped wildly from blue to green to gray to blue and back again, swirling, shifting, twirling with all the colours of the ocean and everything good and real the colour spectrum had to offer, shifting through the spectrum of colours the Earth itself showed to our brave cosmonauts as they lived and loved in space .. What? Where was I?

"You got a problem with me, missy?" The soused apothecary growled drunkenly. "Bring it on!"

Micole in Literary:

Kind of like a synaesthete trying to explain what color a number is. (I've never perceived numbers as having colors. But when I got bored in third-grade math, I would make up personalities for the numbers and then each addition or subtraction problem would become a soap operaish tale of family conflict and betrayal.)

Looks like it's a mad-mad-Madrigal world this weekend.

In Natter:

Noumenon: Let's go clean cabinets.

Cindy: That's still not a euphemism, is it? Drat.

Madrigal: Maybe it could be a euphemism, like for outing really short people.

Cindy: What about the upper cabinets?

Madrigal: Very short, very gay people who can fly.

Cindy: Are they gay flying vampire people, or just mortals?

Madrigal: Since I've never really seen a 100% straight vampire, I'm thinking it'd go for both. Though vampires would probably favor those cabinets with the child-safety latches so that no one suprises them by suddenly opening the door when the room is sunny.

Cindy: True. Vampires are all about the ambi. Those latches are a good idea. You've given this a lot of thought.

Kathy Astrom: But if a non-vampire short person lived in a cabinet with latches, would a short flying vampire need an invitation to barge in?

Fay:

Very short, very gay people who can fly.

In Natter:

Consuela: And you know what's worse? Having a completely inept individual hitting on my while I'm barfing on the bus! Yes, he gave me napkins, but dude it's the height of bizarro-ness to press your scrap paper with your number on it on me while I'm hunched over in distress, whimpering, until the bus makes it to my stop.

DX:So, are you going to call him?