Anya ,'Touched'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
In UnAmerican:
Leigh: I'm sooo not helping my not-crazy case, am I? I've got the flu! I'm on medication! I don't know what I'msayingtyping!
Julie: I think the phrase you're looking for is "Look, Over there! An eight hundred pound elephant wearing pink gingham and juggling SMGs!"
Catching up, all from Bitches:
PMM:
I should really do a mat class, but I hate to leave the house. I'm telling you, if I were a billionaire? I'd be totally reclusive and just pay people to come and entertain me.
billytea:
Hey Ple, there's a new invention that brings the 'distraction-hungry recluse' lifestyle within the reach of the average Jo. It's called television.
PMM:
But I want people to bring me wine and peeled grapes and to juggle.billytea:
What does it say about our society that we've made home-delivered entertainment widely affordable, yet the home-delivered peeled grape market remains exclusively the province of the rich? And where's my flying car, for that matter?
(BTW, what does it say about the rich that peeled grapes are such a hit with them? I mean, is it a normal reaction to a grape to be saying "This could be slimier"?)PMM:
Peeled, it's like eating the eyeballs of your enemies.
billytea:
IME, they're surprisingly different. Eyeballs are much tougher and chewier. (PS: would culinary skill at cooking eyeballs be termed a sense of humor?) Now, a peeled mucous-filled squash ball, that might give you a similar experience.
ita:
Yes! Plus the aqueous humour is squirtier, and then there's the crunch of the lens.billytea:
This is why Nigella Lawson always stresses that you have to remove the contacts before serving.
~~~
connie:
This thread is better than the soaps any day.
~~~
billytea:
BTW, speaking of my DW; I'm in the middle of some relatively ferocious study right now. I've done up a summary list of all the topics I need to cover, and I've been scribbling notes about how they stand - exam-ready, need more work, barely coping, that sort of thing. So I get home today to discover that Bec's found it, and added her own commentary. I now have notes like these:
FUNDAMENTALS OF MULTINATIONAL FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT
Me: Still not comfortable.
Bec: Yes, but it looks real sexy on you!
~~~
amyth:
I'm thinking of making up a care package for my nephew, but I'm lost as to what to put into it. Barring porn, what do 17 yo boys want to get in care packages?
smonster:
Linoleum.
FYI, the Unknown Bitch is me.
So edited. Thanks.
Cindy, on her debt to Scott Baio:
It was an autograph thing. I was completely crushed by much larger/older teenaged girls waiting in the line. When it was finally my turn, Scott had apparently run out of time and was supposed to leave. They said he had to stop signing and just shake hands to move the line along. I was crushed. He must have seen that. He said, "Can't I give her a kiss?" The handler said he couldn't because then everyone would want one. He gave me one anyhow. I floated all the way home.
That's why, no matter how much of a parody of himself he ever becomes, I'll always have a soft spot for Chachi.
Emily S.: Dog names? Might I suggest 'Lola'? My mother always said it was a great test, as it would separate the "she was a showgirl" types from the "Met her in a club down in old Soho" types.
Hec beats me to the punch again. But it was a music thing, what did I expect?
In Natter:
DX: Where did my sunny day go?
Nilly: DX, it's called 'night'. At least, that's where my sunny day went.
?" They made their whole blankets from nothing!
P Moon: Did I mention that I also bred the sheep and spun the yarn for mine? The hardest part was genetically engineering them to grow sparkly black wool with little shiny pink loops.
Steph L.: I love taking a drive on a Sunday afternoon, driving past a field full of black-sparkly-pink-looped sheep, all grazing and frolicking...
JessicaMoon: They've spread to Ohio already? Damn, they're quick!
Steph L.: Just like the killer bees...
JessicaMoon: Only much much cuter. And woolly.
Hecubus explains a Hong Kong fantasy movie plot:
HK fantasies have notoriously ridiculous plots that make even opera sound like a Pinter play. So as I was bringing her up to date on the storyline, I was thinking how much Fay would like it: "That's Jet Li, the Swordsman. He's from the same sect as Brigitte who plays Asia the Invincible. But Asia stole the scroll of power to give ultimate supernatural power. However he had to castrate himself to get the power, which is why they keep calling Asia "he" when Brigitte is playing...him. Anyway, that's Master Wu who was held and tortured by Asia for years so he's mad, and those are the hooks he was hanging from. That's the swordsman's sister and the barbarian girl who throws snakes. Here's the tricky part, even though Asia is technically Jet Li's uncle, Asia and Jet have fallen in love through assumed identities. She tricked him by having one of her courtesans sleep with him. No, not Joey Wang - though she is unbelievably beautiful and is in love with Asia. No, Joey is a girl. That one. Right, so the male lead has fallen in love with his evil castrated supernatural uncle played by a beautiful woman."