'Heart Of Gold'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Context would perhaps make it less funny...
Emily in Bitches:
Edited, cause the code for white font? Isn't i. That would be italic, and while it uses a little less black, it doesn't really provide camouflage. It's sort of like the TMI is putting its hands over its eyes, saying, "You can't see me!"
From Buffy, not spoilery:
Maysa: I'm now going to spend the rest of the evening closing one eye and watching my hand move back and forth.
Victor: If it makes you feel any better, I do this sort of thing all the time with much less motivation.
Nutty, off-topic in Angel (but spoilery for Dune and Lawrence of Arabia:
Dune: short version: Lawrence of Arabia, except, when they get to Damascus, they start worshipping Lawrence and he makes them all do what he says. And Lawrence is actually straight and not self-hating and never gets whipped by Jose Ferrer in a barely-disguised gang-rape scenario.
And Paul Atreides doesn't die in a motorcycle accident. Otherwise? Yeah, lots of similarities.
In Natter:
It started with Scrappy stopping hte Earth's rotation in honor of Beth's birthday
connie: t can we get the Earth's rotation started up again? Water is doing funny things
Aimee: Water, schmater....the lack of gravity has made my boobs perky again. Leave it.
Scrappy: t starting earth's rotation, but creating small Aimee-boob force field
Aimee: Just checking, but MM can get through the force field right?
Scrappy: Oh, yeah. It's a perky-only force field. Fondling is fine.
From Movies:
Hil: This was the same professor who once interrupted his own teaching for about 10 minutes because a student had Ben Affleck's head on a stick.
Nutty: Really? Was it a mummified miniature head, or full-sized? And whose head is Ben Affleck wearing now??
Hil: It was a picture of Ben Affleck, cut out from a magazine, glued onto a piece of lime-green oak tag, and stapled onto a meterstick like a picket sign or something. The whole thing went like this: (note: this professor has a somewhat strong Chilean accent. You need to read his lines with this accent for the full effect.)
Student walks into class late, carrying Ben Affleck's head on stick. He sits down in a seat next to the wall, leans the stick against the wall, takes out his notebook, and starts taking notes. Prof finishes writing whatever he's writing on the board and turns back to the class.
Prof: Aaaah! What is that? Why do you have Ben Affleck's head on a stick?
Student: It's for a class.
Prof: Well, I cannot teach to Ben Affleck's head on a stick. Put that away.
Student: OK. (Leans stick against wall behind desk. The sign part of it comes up just above the desk.)
Prof: (after writing something else on the board and then turning back to the class) Aaaah! Why do you still have Ben Affleck's head on a stick? I told you to put that away.
Student: Sorry. There's really nowhere to put it.
Prof: I cannot teach to Ben Affleck's head on a stick. Would you be able to teach to Ben Affleck's head on a stick?
Student: Um, I really don't know.
Prof: It should not be in this class. Look, here is the class list. You are on this list. Hillary is on this list. Bennet is on this list. Brandon is on this list. Ben Affleck is not on this list. Ben Affleck is not enrolled in this class, so you cannot have his head on a stick in this class with you.
Student: But, it's just a picture.
Prof: I am not teaching Ben Affleck's head on a stick.
(Hec, I edited in two additional lines after "there's really nowhere to put it." But they're not terribly important.)
(Hec, I edited in two additional lines after "there's really nowhere to put it." But they're not terribly important.)
Duly edited.
Oh, Eris above. I think I broke something laughing at that, Hil.
Scrappy and Steph's Surgical Scar Smackdown:
Scrappy:Teppy, I have a 9-inch scar on my abdomen from an emergency splenectomy when was 12. Not to brag, but just wanted to make VERY clear that mine is bigger than yours. (sticks out tongue tauntingly) We can compare them at the F2F!
Steph: Mine *could* be 10 inches; we didn't pull out a ruler. I'll have my friend take a picture.
Scrappy: Scar smackdown, baby!
Steph: Oh, bring it! I ain't afraid of your spleen scar, you spleenless wonder!
Scrappy: At least my scar is on the front where it is visible to everyone. Not hidden around in back like I was ASHAMED of it or something.
Steph: No, mine is on my back so you can see it when you KISS MY ASS...
Ita, context free in bureaucracy!
Our toys! Ours! Ours! Ours!
Whoa. Head rush.