Cindy, in Light Bulbs:

Clearly I want my cake and I want to eat it too, atop a pony, a pink one, and I'll call her Apple Blossom, and we'll have marvelous adventures together.

On keyboard repair, in Natter--

shrift: Its keyboard keys were warped into curlicues. Still don't know what kind of acid the dude used.

DX: That does sound like acetone, rather than acid.

shrift: Well, to be fair, we're not sure if the keyboard warped from whatever he put on it to dry it out, or from the hairdryer he used.

Either way, his keyboard looks like a bowl of shiny black plastic cornflakes.

Madrigal: I use acetone to clean most of my lab stuff, so there might be a slight bit of logic in using it to clean a computer - really just a little bit more logic than it would take to decide to use some Breck shampoo.

DX: And if you did use Breck shampoo, at least the curly keys would be a bit more manageable.

amych: Nobody wants frizzy, flyaway keys.

DX: Nor split [End]s, either...

(ETA the ba-dum-bump.)

From Dude--

Nutty: The Entwives got sick of not being considered Ents themselves, only Ent-appendages, and staged a revolt. They fled Fangorn and have been living in a vegan anti-species-ist lesbian commune in Michigan for the last 1500 years.

Treebeard is a representative of the phallogocentric heteronorm, and we will not stand for it!!

They still tree like the wind, however.

DX: Ents have appendages? And no Ent-wives?

(Has brief thought that Ent slash might exist, and goes off to wash out brain...)

Katie M: Hmm. (goes to Google) Well, one Legolas/Ent piece, apparently.

Fay:

Legolas/Ent

blink

Well, it certainly puts a new spin on getting wood.

erikaj in Literary, and not how it sounds, but context is for wimps:

Mating was just eh, imo.I mean, it didn't suck, but it didn't stick with me either.

Julie, in UnAmerican:

The four hundred pound Buffista elephant: It's big and it's wearing pink gingham and it's carrying a PORN sign.

Somebody has to excerpt julie's whole post, but I'll just cite the exchange it inspired:

julie:

every time they press post message, they are telling the community something about themselves. Most people want that to be a positive message.

noumenon:

Except that I could swear Theodosia is trying to convey something on the lines of "Puny mortal! I will be the instrument of your doom." Maybe it's just me.

Uh oh, he's broken the code.

Funny if not spoilerly from Buffy (attribute to first person I can't find):

Oh! and let's not forget--I don't intend to--Spike lounging casually on his bed next to the convenient chains in a very come hither way (at least, well, it looked come hither to me).

Trudy: t Trudy changes name to "Hither"

Heather Alayne : Heather has only to change the i to ea.

Theodosia -- That was connie neil in post 6688.

JULIE'S ENTIRE POST, edited slightly to remove names. The bolding is mine. This should really go in the FAQ:

Posting in a community isn't about sharing a let's get David Boreanaz nekkid hivemind. And it's not about filling in time when you have nothing better to do. No one comes here to entertain you (or, for the record, to chastise you, or quite frankly, to hold your hand and walk you along the path to true Buffistaness).

It is about reading the thoughts and feelings and opinions of those posting around you and respecting them.

You make it impossible for me to believe that you respect this board when you ignore courteous suggestions, when you reject the opportunity to clarify a post, when you refuse to acknowledge your borderline comments when pointed out to you, or when you disregard politely worded posts of advice. And that's just on this thread.

I can understand that you might find it intimidating to be asked to go to the bureaucracy thread and defend yourself. But making snide and resentful references to the situation in other threads is not helping. You may be trying to post around the four hundred pound Buffista elephant, but believe me, everyone else can see it clearly. It's big and it's wearing pink gingham and it's carrying a PORN sign. And until you deal with it, it isn't going to go away.

This isn't a chat room. It's not even a particularly fast moving posting board. Partly, that's because I bet you dollars to doughnuts the vast majority of the people on this board spend a lot more of their time here reading, than writing. And partly that's because people here are aware that every bit of black text they put up on the screen, and every time they press post message, they are telling the community something about themselves. Most people want that to be a positive message.

If a thread isn't moving fast enough for you then you have two choices. You can leave it alone and not poke it. Or you can make a meaningful contribution that shows knowledge of your audience, is written in language and a style designed to elicit responses from your readers and that makes you, [name omitted], accessible to the people with whom you seem to want to share your time.

There are no short cuts to fitting in. And when you're one of eight hundred registrations and a couple of hundred active posters? The onus is going to rest entirely in your lap.

Shrift, in Angel:

In my world, Angel's greatest love, after his nancy boy hair gel, is for his leather pants.

He can risk it all for leather.

Or in leather. I'm not picky.