Jess PMoon (in Spoilers but not a spoiler), bemoans the horror that is her life:

You know what the kicker is? I won't get to see the finale for two weeks after it airs. We're gonna be in freaking England on freaking vacation. (And yes, my diamond shoes are a little tight now that you mention it.)

Hil, on Passover traditions as practiced in her family:

The first part of the seder that's a part of the story, rather than part of the formalities, is "This is the bread of our affliction, which our forefathers brought from the land of Egypt." (If I'm reading that part, I say "ancestors" instead of "forefathers," since that's just as reasonable a translation of the word, and then my uncle glares at me. The book says to point at the matzo while saying it, and if my aunt is at the table, she'll say, "It's not nice to point." My father will ask why everyone's bread was at the same stage of rising when they left. My sister will tell all of us to hurry up so that we can finish sometime before 3 in the morning. My mother will say that the men at the rebbe's will continue the seder all night. My cousin will say that that's why he doesn't go to the rebbe's. My aunt and uncle will tell him not to disrespect the rebbe. My sister will shout at all of us to get back on book. Then we'll continue.)

Hil: I remember being in second or third grade and trying to tell my friends that they were insulting themselves by putting the annoying boys in the "girl" category. Then they decided that the five of us should play four-square.

Julie, in Bureaucracy:

Put me down as a buggerer. And a shitter. And a fucker.

erm.. so to speak.

Under great pressure nothing beats the eloquence of a nice long string of fuckity fucking fucks.

Also, awfully fond of "sodding" in front of anything that does not please me.

Oh, look! It's just like Sartre.

In Natter:

shrift:Dude. We seriously are waiting on a computer that a guy spilled water on, and attempted to dry it out with a hairdryer and acid.

Acid.

Sue:I'm picturing that the guy dropped a couple of hits of LSD into his hard drive and now his computer is listening to In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida and watching the room breathe.

Cindy, in Light Bulbs:

Clearly I want my cake and I want to eat it too, atop a pony, a pink one, and I'll call her Apple Blossom, and we'll have marvelous adventures together.

On keyboard repair, in Natter--

shrift: Its keyboard keys were warped into curlicues. Still don't know what kind of acid the dude used.

DX: That does sound like acetone, rather than acid.

shrift: Well, to be fair, we're not sure if the keyboard warped from whatever he put on it to dry it out, or from the hairdryer he used.

Either way, his keyboard looks like a bowl of shiny black plastic cornflakes.

Madrigal: I use acetone to clean most of my lab stuff, so there might be a slight bit of logic in using it to clean a computer - really just a little bit more logic than it would take to decide to use some Breck shampoo.

DX: And if you did use Breck shampoo, at least the curly keys would be a bit more manageable.

amych: Nobody wants frizzy, flyaway keys.

DX: Nor split [End]s, either...

(ETA the ba-dum-bump.)

From Dude--

Nutty: The Entwives got sick of not being considered Ents themselves, only Ent-appendages, and staged a revolt. They fled Fangorn and have been living in a vegan anti-species-ist lesbian commune in Michigan for the last 1500 years.

Treebeard is a representative of the phallogocentric heteronorm, and we will not stand for it!!

They still tree like the wind, however.

DX: Ents have appendages? And no Ent-wives?

(Has brief thought that Ent slash might exist, and goes off to wash out brain...)

Katie M: Hmm. (goes to Google) Well, one Legolas/Ent piece, apparently.

Fay:

Legolas/Ent

blink

Well, it certainly puts a new spin on getting wood.

erikaj in Literary, and not how it sounds, but context is for wimps:

Mating was just eh, imo.I mean, it didn't suck, but it didn't stick with me either.

Julie, in UnAmerican:

The four hundred pound Buffista elephant: It's big and it's wearing pink gingham and it's carrying a PORN sign.