That sounded like a Joss from the old PB days.
Coffee On My Monitor
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
Terry Pratchett says that three exclamation points in dialogue is the hallmark of the deranged character.
And that five or more is the mark of a truly insane person.
That, and anyone who actually writes maniacal laughter.
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!
Emily in Natter:
Michigan would have ethnic diversity... if you kind of picked it up and shook it real fast and then set it down! It's like an ethnic snowglobe!
Somebody needs to fill in the first two attributions on this one:
meara: They called a bomb threat in over a week in advance??? That's very strange....
amych: Calling in the threat was on their to-do list and they didn't want to forget in the mad rush of actually planting the bomb?
Jacqueline: Okay, obviously that’s not funny at all, except for being fucking hysterical. God knows that if I were a mad bomber, I’d have to do it that way. Then they’d probably find my bomb, inert and un-detonated, with the wrong size batteries crammed into it wrong way round and a Post-It stuck to the top saying "1. Call in threat. 2. Wash capoeira pants. 3. CAT FOOD!!!!"
Somebody needs to fill in the first two attributions on this one
The second (to-do list) was me. I'm not sure who the first one was.
I think the top was meara.
As ever.
Dana, in Natter:
We'll call it "Fandom Through the Years: The Dark Side."
Chapter headings will include:
"I'm a Plagiarist! Love Me!"
"My Hero is Good and Shiny and Noble and Don't You Dare Write Him Any Other Way!"
"I Don't Care How Much of Your Time and Money You Put Into This Website, Because I Have Unending Complaints"
"Psychotic Yankees I Have Known"
"Hey, Isn't Slash Just Porn, Anyway?"
"Hey, Isn't Fan Fiction Just Porn, Anyway?"
"I'll Feminize/Demonize That Male/Female Character if I Want To!"
"Who Says You Have to Know About Sex to Write Sex?"
"If You Criticize My Writing, I'll Kill Myself and It'll Be Your Fault!"
"Why Should I Spell-Check -- It's Only Fan Fiction"
"That Was Great! Where's the Sequel?"
"Seriously, Where the HELL IS THE SEQUEL?"
"What Do You Mean, There's No Sequel?"
"Hey, You Look Helpful. Can I Ask You Inane Questions?"
"I Could Obviously Build a Better Site, But I Would Never Waste My Time Doing That"
"You Slash People are So Sick and Twisted"
"You Gen People are So Deluded and Boring"
"You People Who Put Female Characters in My Slash are Just Evil"
"But It's Okay To Stalk Actors If I Really, Really Love Them, Right?"
"I Am the Moderator! Get Out of the Way; Here Comes My Ego"
"Web Design Guaranteed to Make You Gouge Out Your Own Eyes"
and the grand finale, "Why Are You So Upset? It's Just a TV Show. Of Course, If You Say Something I Don't Like, I'll Start a Flame War That Crosses Six Countries Before Breakfast."
Fred Pete, re: mean emails:
Or respond with surrealism.
Thank you for your interest in the new Chrysler Weetabix. A brochure should reach you within 5 to 7 business days. Because your inquiry included the secret phrase of the day ("hippo pants"), the brochure will include a coupon for free cruise control.
If you have any further questions concerning the new Chrysler Weetabix, now with blood-resistant vinyl seating, please do not hesitate to call me at 1-800-555-4321.