'Time Bomb'
This thread is for Buffista quotage. Posts that are profound, witty, or otherwise deserving of immortality go here. This is also Shrift's source for the BRQG, so be aware that if your words end up here, they'll also end up there. Finally, please note which thread spawned the quotage and please white-out anything that might be spoilery to Un-Americans.
John H explains Statistics 101:
Mean is the meanest of averages. It's the average you get when you add up all the averages and divide them by themselves. "Mode" is French and means "the most fashionable number". "Median" means "strip of grass in the middle of the road" so you just pick the most boring number.
BHP (especially funny, since she said it days ago): Oh, the Sofitel, which is French-themed to the max, has stopped flying the French flag out front in order not to offend guests. I sometimes top in at the Sofitel to buy croissants. I hear they're being renamed "Liberty cholesterol death-bombs."
John H. in Natter, amidst cute wildlife stories. Some mockage of the English, all due respect to my homie Tony Blair, et alia.
This never would have happened if the wedding had been inside the church with God and not out here in the cheap showiness of nature.
I was once in the bush, on Stradbroke island, eating salami sandwiches, and this goanna about half the size of a crocodile climbed down out of a tree.
I threw him some salami. He liked it.
He came closer. I threw him some more. He liked it.
I thought it would be cool to see if he would eat out of my hand.
I held out some salami to him.
He would eat out of my hand, it turned out. Except it was not so much with the "out of"...
That's not the funny part. I'm nursing a bleeding finger and swearing, and this eight-year-old kid walks by.
"What's the matter with him?" he says.
"He tried to get a goanna to eat out of his hand" says my girlfriend.
"Oh" says the kid "is he English or something?"
Nutty:
I suddenly realized that I cannot imagine what the phrase "lethal cuteness bomb" would sound like, in an Australian accent. In my head, Billytea's all Oz, and then switches over to American for that one part, like the bad dubbing over curse-words on broadcast TV.
"Oh" says the kid "is he English or something?"
Bwah! Bloody poms.
Words to live by, from Hec in Bitches: I've got some forward motion in my life now. Crap still happens, but it's hard to get knocked down if you're moving forward.
No. you can -- a good forward defensive kick to the st...
Hmm. I suspect I might be missing the point.
(Laughing at ita) Always comes back to the kicking, doesn't it? It might for me to if my kicking weren't more like "ineffective stroking with foot". Damn it.
Nilly: Yeah, I noticed that. Girls' versions of the bar mitzvah is either bat mitzvah or bas mitzvah, depending whom you ask. Consonantal shift at work!!
Psst, Trudy, it wasn't me, it was Nutty. I don't know how to use clever words like 'Consonantal'.