Kat:

What is it about information that people thinking if kids have it they will use it? God knows they have the information on how to put a comma in a sentence and they can't do that. What harm is there in telling them how their bodies work and how contraception works.

---

Spoilery for today's Angel:

Steph L.: Huh. If Big Rubber Satan showed up at my door, I'd wet myself.

Matt: Likely my last words on this earth would be "yeah, right. I can see the zipper."

---

Kristin in Leatherpants (not spoily)--

Can’t you just see it? It would be the best show. Ever.

INT. RALPH’S SUPERMARKET – NIGHT A long line of irritated customers wait to pay for their purchases. The line isn’t moving as a MAN argues loudly with the CHECKOUT CLERK.

Suddenly, ANGELUS swoops in and grabs the man roughly by the throat.

ANGELUS: You knew you didn’t have any cash when you got on the cash only line, didn’t you?

MAN: Um-I--I--

ANGELUS: Didn’t you?

MAN: Yes.

SNAP. CRACKLE. POP. Angelus snaps his neck like twig and clears the counter with a sweep of his arm. He grabs the carton of cigarettes from the debris and vanishes out the door.

CHECKOUT CLERK: Next!

PMM: Oh man, they SHOULD film that and show it every year.

---

A mega- dose from Dude:

MechaKrelboyne:

To: Balin@minesofmoria.com From: Gimli@lonelymountain.net (http://www.erebor.lm) Re: Re: How ya' doin'?

Get a line on that drummer, and we can start the old band up again, now that would be cool. The LongEars in this Fellowship I've hooked up with could play the fiddle. With his bow, and My axe, we'd rock out all over.

So is it cool if this Fellowship dealie crashes on our way to the gig in Mordor? It'll be a lot easier than the pass, or the gap, and we can pack in some mead for the trip, and catch up & stuff. Lemme know, huh?

________

connie neil:

Celebrian ran afoul of Sauron, didn't she? Got captured?

Nutty:

I think "carried off" and wounded, and then she got into a snit and moved to California.

No wonder Elrond is so bitter!

______

Consuela:

I don't own a real machete. Someday I will, though.

thessaly:

I do! I do!

...Officially it's a Poetry Machete (from a friend's Full Contact Poetry shows), 'cause you'd be really surprised how much attention people pay when you're holding a sharp hunk of metal. Really.

ita:

some women buy shoes

Machetes rule! So much more multipurpose than your average katana or broadsword or rapier. Also reasonably easy to use two of them at once, and you can clear brush on your way to the carnage too.

(Note: I do think ita's current tag is worth including in the context.) _______

connie neil (re. some knife or other):

It was a wedding present from my hubby, sorry.

Sean K:

Well he's definately a keeper.

connie neil:

So far, so good. But he doesn't like it when I keep a knife on my side of the bed. Seems he woke up one night to find me gutting him in my sleep. I'm sure he made it up, but he said I showed good technique.

Sean K:

And he has a problem sleeping in chainmail jammies because...?

connie neil:

The jingling keeps us both awake? Plus they ride up terribly. Chainmail wedgies are to be avoided.

Sean K:

Hmm... Hadn't thought of that. Maybe some nice kevlar.

ita:

Kevlar's not so good for stopping blades though.

I've

heard.

Betsy Hanes Perry:

For that, you have krav.

Sean K:

(quoting ita) I've heard.

Yeah. Uh-huh. Heard. What's that red stuff on your hands?

---

The trouble with this was deciding which parts to COMM. In the end, I'm going for all/most of it, with a note that it could probably be cut down. I just think that the epic scale of some conversations should be represented here. (I hope I'm not putting too much in here today- it's going to be three posts in a row, all long. Tell me if I've overstepped the marker, please!)

connie neil: billy, it's such a short step from trying to define skirt to trying to define life. Do we really want to go there?

billytea: So you're saying... we're skirting bigger issues here?

connie neil: I suppose so, through all the hemming and hawing.

Heather Alayne: Ack, puns. I'm leaving.

Because I'm hungry and have stuff to do, not the puns.

erikaj: That whole conversation could get wearing, but address it if you have to.

billytea: I think we should. Could get into the whole fabric of reality.

connie neil: Unless we're making it up out of whole cloth.

Lyra Jane: It's not like we skirt issues around here -- clothing is a common thread among our conversations.

connie neil: Tis the very warp and woof of our existence.

erikaj: Don't, please. I'll mean to follow but lose the thread.

Dana: You guys have me in stiches.

billytea: Aaaaand we're right back at the barking goldfish.

And just a little later:

Steph L.: Ooops. Forgot to pun.

Nah, I'll just sit here and needle you guys for being so silly.

p.m. marcontell: Steph, do I detect some bias?

Lyra Jane: You are Satin himself, Tep.

Dana: Seriously. I'm about to split a seam.

Steph L.: Satin ROOOOOLZ!!!!

Errrr...you are still punning, right? I thought I cotton to it...

Anne W,: Too many puns. I don't think there's any way to selvage this discussion.

p.m. marcontell: What's one more pun to the pile?

Hec: I'm off to canvas the neighborhood for records and tacos. Don't get all wooly without me. Women do get wooly, you know.

When they get stressed.

PMM: And David bolts from the room...

ita: Something about this discussion disturbs me. But I can't pin down exactly what it is. It's bobbin and weaving all over the place. Can we stop changing tack so much?

Steph L.: Damn. He punned AND slipped Bull Durham in.

He is like unto a god.

connie neil: And I think he's laughing up his sleeve at us.

PMM: Twill the thread survive?

billytea: I'm linen towards no.

connie: The thread shall survive. It shall loom over all it surveys!

Trudy Booth: This seams to be getting out of control.

Dana: I'm riveted to my seat, dyeing to see what will happen next.

JessPMoon: oh god make it stop...please make it stop...I'll be good for the rest of my life, I swear! Just make it stop...

PMM: The flax of the matter is, we're getting a little silly.

billytea: Oops. Some people might be finding this a bit ruff.

connie: We wouldn't want to ruffle anyone.

juliana: Do you think it's going against the grosgrain?

Trudy Booth: Uh oh, PMoon is on the run (or on the ladder for you brits)

PMM: Lace see if we can reclaim a filament of rationality in the thread.

erikaj: Maybe they've lost the voile to live. Life takes a tulle sometimes.(OK, that was bad. Even I have to quit now!) Did I get the Bull Durham quote in my last post right?

PMM: The net effect of all of this is scary.

connie: I'm running out of ideas. I'm trying to work with orlon and nylon and it could get ugly.

juliana: Okay, I have to dart. G'night, everyone!

PMM: Connie, you're a rayon light.

connie: I thought of that, then discarded it as rather threadbare.

Dana: Really, I think everyone should leap into the fray.

PMM: This is funny material.

connie: As it all unravels ...

PMM: Ah, you're just hemming and hawing now.

Jess PMoon: curled up in a fetal position in the corner, sobbing and shaking...

ita: Great. Jessica felt so bad, she's in tears.

Jess PMoon: explodes

billytea: Good lord. Can I just express my sheer amazement at the speed with which everyone piles on for the fabric puns. It's faster than porn, I swear.

PMM: We're skirting the issue, aren't we?

connie: Should we go sweep up the bits of Jess? I bet we could make her into a pretty quilt.

Steph L.: Wool you all just stop!

ita: Hey, Jess, don't get your knickers in a twist. Sure, the conversation is a load of pants, but if there's a need to get shirty, I'll eat my hat.

billytea: t where I came in. Exits stage left, scarfing down afternoon snack

PMM: She's just remnants now, isn't she?

Calli: Poor Jess. It's hard on a sensative sole, getting socked with sew many puns at once.

erikaj: They are sort of contagious.And hey, gives me a chance to use some of the vocabulary from when my stepmonster tried to make me Girly.

connie: Ah, but she's scrappy, she'll pull through.

Jess PMoon: explodes AGAIN

Honestly, you people.

PMM: She needs someone to go to batt for her.

Steph L.: These are bad and getting worse. It's not like they're purls of wisdom.

connie: But knitted together ...

Dana: Oh, just cuff her on the head. She'll come around.

connie: No, no, no, she's a delicate-cycle person.

PMM: It's out fault she's feeling crochety.

Jess PMoon: I don't even have a head anymore. How am I gonna wear my tiara now?

ita: Maybe if she felt she had a vested interest in the conversation?

It's a pity we can't be brief.

connie: Pins! We'll pin her head back on! A little ribbon around the neck, no one will ever know.

PMM: She needs someone to comforter her.

connie: All done? Is that a wrap? Can Jess come out again?

Dana: She'll be sari...

(Okay, even I winced at that one. I'll stop.)

Jess PMoon: Nope, never coming out again. I've been hurt too many times by your cruelty

meara: Oh my god, there is no end to to the punning!

PMM: We haven't been crewel!

Steph L.: And yet Jess hasn't bo

---

cont. Which proves that it really is too long.

Lyra Jane: 'Twill this madness ever stop?

PMM: You know, if someone mentions duck, we can segue into bird puns.

connie: resisting, resisting.

Rebecca Lizard: You are all evil.

Steph L.: Are knot!

connie: This is news?

billytea:

You are all evil.

'Frayed sew.

---

Angus in the Music Thread:

I was in a CD shop today and I saw this young lad, in full white-boy gangsta getup, listening to Eminem on the listening post and really getting into it, doing all those pointy-hand hip-hop moves. It was adorable! I wanted to take him home and put him in a boy band.

---

I edited #2058 because ita's tag was showing up as 3pt font on my machine. Yes, I am drunk with the power.

---

HAH! I love Angus' post. Awww.

Kat, in Natter:

Most verbs are these cute little bi-trannie babies, meaning they can either be intransitive or transitive depending on how it's used. A very few verbs are like Hard Core Gay boys

---

billytea in Natter, on temperatures conversions:

There is a chance I'm overthinking this. It keeps my brain warm.

---