Billytea: Apparently there's been a survey done which found that women who were college educated were more likely to enjoy oral sex (both giving and receiving) than were high school dropouts. I can't help but feel there's a great pro-education marketing campaign in there somewhere.

Phill: Here at Yale, we don't prepare you for a blow JOB, but rather an entire blow career.

Deena

I can take them to the hospital and have lots and lots of lovely reading material to distract me during labor.

Am Chau

So long as you remember to send feedback as soon as the baby's asleep.

In fanfic.

Phil: in dorms, I learned how to be frustrated and listen to all my friends shtupping like the finale to a guided tour of larry flint's id.

billytea strikes again, in Natter 7.

Consuela: Why isn't "hermit" an acceptable lifestyle choice?

billytea: Does it matter? It's not like they're going to worry about the neighbours shunning them.

?: When Elizabeth I died childless

Aimée: Alledgedly childless.

?: Aimée, what are the other theories? Was there some lovechild with Sir Walter Raleigh postulated?

Phill: Tuneth thou in next time upon Sir Gerald the Springer

Anne W. in Previously:

The Wolf, Ram, and Hart things in Pylea suggested to me that the "Senior Partners" have some sort of organized presence in every major dimension. Sort of like Starbucks.

Miracleman, on scruffy!Aragorn:

You think (desperately trying to swing this vaguely back on-topic) that all the elves would, like, mutter behind Aragorn's back? You know, being the ultra-cool dudes with the supersenses and all?

Like, Elrond and Legolas are in the corner during the Council...

Elrond: Aragorn will take you and the others to Mordor.

Legolas: Aragorn? You sure that's wise?

Elrond: He's the last line of Isildur. He will be king. Dude, it's epic! He has to go.

Legolas: Yeah, but...I mean...he's a great guy, you know I like him, never done anything to me, but...I think the orcs'll be able to track us, to be frank. I mean, dude...he reeks!

Elrond: Hmm. Hadn't thought of that. Look, don't be rude about it, but give him the, uh...we'll call it the Soap of, uh, of Galadriel. He'll dig on that.

Legolas: But what is it, really?

Elrond: It's Irish Spring, but see, I shaved the logo off...

Nutty:

So the hand-waving is legitimate -- it's semaphore!!!

t edit Bold doesn't really show up in <tt>'d text, on my computer, I now see....

Jengod:

Wilshire Books, on Wilshire, natch, has an excellent selection of used books, including plenty of mass/trade paperbacks. But the non-owner clerk guy is a dick. Into cellphone: 'blah blah blah hail mary pass football football football that'll be $14.95 please.' Me: 'No. I want to sell it to you.' Him: 'Oh. Okay. Here's $4 then.' Me: 'Gimme $5 or I'll stab you to death.' Him: 'Sure. football football blah blah blah.'

More by MiracleMan:

Plus, I'm sort of imagining Gimli and Legolas jockeying for the upwind position on their rescue mission.

Aragorn: They went this way. They've increased their pace...(noticing jostling behind him) What are you two doing?

Gimli: I was, ah, just suggesting that Legolas, having the better eyes you know, take point.

Legolas: Oh, great. Thanks. With the wind behind us? You fucking suck, shortass.

Gimli: Oh, like I wasn't sucking down Aragorn BO when you stuck me on the east side of the campfire last night. "I feel the earth and can extend my senses over here..." Bite me, you pointy-eared freak.

Aragorn: Is there a problem guys?

Gimli: Wha--? Oh, no, no, just...

Legolas: Comradely bonhomie. Male bonding stuff. You know.

Aragorn: Right. Anyway, good plan Gimli. Legolas, you take point.

Legolas: I'ma bitch-slap you later, midget.

Gimli: Do somethin'.

It's really starting to explode in my head into a, like, Leggy and Silent Gim thing. Lord of The Rings: The Two Mallrats.