Extra points for use of the word 'merkin'.

In Dude, Where's my precious? (though to be honest I'm not sure why):

Billytea:

"Look, Brozzie, hobbits are a protected species. You can't just go trying to kill one because you think it took your cow. ...Tell you what, I know a guy who might be able to relocate them to Mordor. I'll give him a call. But in the meantime, you leave 'em alone, you hear?"

Fay

Oh, man. Priceless. That's where I've seen him before.

signed - Girl Who Loves Steve Irwin Beyond All Reason.

Billytea:

I'm pretty certain that, once you have the first half of that statement, the second half is fully redundant.

Edited because I can both spell and use quick-edit. Really.

Jess:

I just opened up my bag of Doritos, and there are only, like, three chips in here.

Since the bag says "packed by weight" I'm going to assume they're radioactive chips, and therefore will not eat them.

billytea:

Send it to NASA! Dark matter's been packaged in chip bags and retails for $2.69 a pound! They'll be so relieved someone found it.

Nutty:

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that said, "Visualize Grilled Cheese". At which point, I realized that people who make bumper stickers really do have that much time on their hands.

In Firefly:

Scrappy: A car in front of me ont he freeway today had a bumper sticker which read "What would Serenity do?" I think it's probably some sort of buddhist take off on all the WWJD stuff, but I was hoping it was a Firefly reference.

Anne W.: Interesting, Scrappy. I don't think, however, that Buddha would advise kicking people into afterburners as a viable way of getting them off your back.

Susan W, in TTT:

I now have a Boromir action figure to help Spike guard my workstation. Mmm...sexy and conflicted plastic goodness.

Cindy in Dude, Where's My Precious on the usefulness of Buffista guidance in what to watch for in the movie (eg when to keep your eyes peeled to spot director Peter Jackson's cameo etc etc):

You know, while reading all of this, I've been wishing I'd had the Buffistas as guides for other events in my life. We should write a series of life-handbooks, you know the kind I mean like The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Hobbits or whatever. Granted, those sorts of books are all blather, but at least ours would be entertaining.

Birthing: The Buffista Way

Touted as the latest, best method for delivering your young into the world, heed The Buffistas as they serve as your guides through labo(u)r and delivery. Buffista children (not to be confused with Buffista Spirit Babies) are those ovary-ache inducing children others refer to as The Cutest Babies in the Word, The Most Precocious Children in the World, and Children Most Likely to have Recruited Minions by Puberty. If you want your child to understand the importance of serial commas and can time your contractions to coincide with the almost undetectable moment the wonderful Phoenix board takes to load, this is the birthing method for you.

The Buffistas Do Weddings

Emily Post has nothing on The Buffistas. Whether you're a guest, a participant or planning to actually speak rather than hold your peace (although not your piece), look no further than our handy, practical reference guide. Chapters include: 'The Seating Plan from Both sides: (AKA - FUCK! You sat me with D'Hoffryn?!? Damn straight, I did!)', 'Can I Wear My White Corset? - What's Appropriate? What's Foamy?' and 'Open Bar Only For an Hour? Let Me Take Some Money Out of the Card!'

Dude, Where's My Hymen? The Very Special Buffista Handbook

It's another Saturday night, and you're making out with that cute guy/girl YCrushMV from Social Studies, except you only think s/he's cute when you've mixed Red Bull (whatever that is) with Tequila. Should you? Shouldn't You? Should you wait 'til the prom? Should you wait 'til you're not in the MIDDLE of the prom? Everything you ever wanted to know, and more. Due to the mature themes in this book, do not let your mother read it. YtmiMV

askye:

Dru and Spike got here yesterday, bless their little gingerbread hearts.

Unfortunatly the US Postal Service seems to have a Slayer working for it---they were not only beheaded but also drawn and quartered. Still I laid them all out and looked at them and imagined that they'd been in an epic battle with an gingerbread Buffy.

in Natter:

askye

...I even met someone who kept getting Harry Potter and LoTR (the movies) confused. Because both had wizards.

John H

You know how it is, I keep getting Rashomon and Pokemon confused, because they both end in the syllable "mon".

ita:

Please excuse me while I expire in a cloud of oldtimerness sautéed in a light oil of obscure injokery.