Thank you, Brits, for lending us Eric Idle (song contains foul language and liberal attitudes)

bwahahahaha

Don't know how true this is but it's funny nonetheless:

Ground Staff


After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe 
sheet,which conveys to the mechanics any problems 
encountered with the aircraft during the flight that 
need repair or correction. The mechanics read and 
correct the problem, and then respond in writing on 
the lower half of the form what remedial action was 
taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before 
the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews 
and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some 
actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as 
submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded 
by maintenance engineers.


(P = The problem logged by the pilot; 
 S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.


P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.


P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds
like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Haha, legend! I've pinched that for another forum, cheers evil jimi.

Took hammer away from midget.

Hee.

Also, I have a random urge to state the obvious: it sucks beyond belief that Angel won't be back. Australia only has, what, seven episodes left to go before we join the mourners? *tiny delusional corner of mind hopes that someone will post and say that I'm way behind on the news and Angel has been saved at the 11th hour by a rich, eccentric benefactor whose only restriction on the creative team is a Las Vegas casino napkin with "More Shirtless Men" scrawled on it*

Sorry to butt in. The Buffistas Atop the World locator map is ready. Have fun.

(Europe/North Africa next, then the Antipodes, no plans at present for South America or Asia)

Australia only has, what, seven episodes left to go before we join the mourners?

Lucky buggers. We in the UK have only *two* episodes to go on SkyOne. *howls mournfully*

Gus, shiny, and I look forward to the day when the Europe map goes live.

Am-Chau, that day has arrived. Buffistas in the Cradles Of Civilisation

eta: Also: Buffistas Downunder

Gustav, darling, when do we get photos from your trip?

Gus, it's wonderful! I love it! I am on it! I have exclamation mark addiction! Thank you!