And weaning is like sprinkling Instant Mummy on them.

This made me laugh so hard in COMM I had to come to UnAm to pay tribute. Hee!

Downside to weaning: lost two cup sizes (one from pregnancy and one that I had started with), no more instant cure-all for baby ills.

Upside: all new bras bought from the "pretty bras" rack, instead of ones from the "made by a thwarted and bitter structural engineer" section of the lingerie department, no more long surreal conversations with toddlers about the subtle taste differences between "mama milk" and "refrigerator milk."

Pasties -- pastry folded over and cooked with meat or fruit inside. Er...

You have fruit pasties? Yummy. Though we call those tarts in J'ca.

Don't forget on the upside: Ability to choose clothing for day without regard to ITA (immediate tit access). If I couldn't bare one breast without flashing the population, it went into the back of the closet.

Oh, how one can tell if they're real or implants. The fake ones always reach for the sky.

I was watching G. I. Jane (to my shame) on TV the other day, and it was hilarious, looking at Demi Moore, all buff and muscle striations and 2% body fat, with these enormous, static bazooms. Note to Ridley Scott: I don't know very many Navy lieutenants actively courting SEAL training, but I bet they don't tend to be the sort for D-cup breast implants. I mean, unless they are planning to use them as deadly weapons.

And to think, I've had men dispute that I can tell the difference between real and fake just by looking. Actually, if the men can't tell, then the implants have basically done their job, haven't they?

They don't let women into the SEALs or any other Special Forces group. The U.S. military still forbids women to enter any infantry combat specialty. You can fly a fighter jet, but you can't parachute into battle.

Actually, if the men can't tell, then the implants have basically done their job, haven't they?

I think it depends on how they feel.

Serena Williams is at least a D cup, and she's ripped to high heaven ... I think she could turn some SEALS out.

Actually, if the men can't tell, then the implants have basically done their job, haven't they?

But it's like any other artifice: at first, it's completely convincing, but over time you learn to recognize it. Think about the improvements in special-effects technology, and how obvious '80s CGI is now. Think about how you look at a picture and immediately know "Oh, that was Photoshopped."

Same with artificial breasts. Over time, everybody's started to notice the way that they don't slope properly into the sternum, the immobility, the unnatural half-sphere shape of some models. And there's starting to be a backlash among men as well as women. (Not all men, obviously; but enough that there's a market for "all-natural" porn.)

(I know that -- that's the point of the movie. But women who want to be SEALs, and women who get breast implants, are probably two populations with a teeny tiny sliver of overlap on a Venn diagram.)

(For one thing, the implants are probably very easy to rupture, under SEAL conditions. If a woman were to become a SEAL, she would probably be required to have any implants removed, just for safety reasons.)

For UnAmericans, SEALs are Navy people who do insane things like jump out of helicopters and wander around in enemy territory with nuclear weapons strapped to their backs. They are like Army Rangers, except they do not get to wear berets. Also, they get wet a lot more often.

(For one thing, the implants are probably very easy to rupture, under SEAL conditions. If a woman were to become a SEAL, she would probably be required to have any implants removed, just for safety reasons.)

On the other hand, if you were feeling self-sacrificial you could fill them with all sorts of interesting and useful substances.